Beasts

52: Words

  Things soon mellowed down. I hadn't talked to anyone since Danny left. I read this book I found in the wardrobe as Phoenix showered. I didn't hear any sign of Phoenix finishing his shower until he walked in front of the bed with nothing but a towel around his waist. I glanced up at him then went back to my book. I felt numb. Only numb. Danny left so I could be with the person standing before me but why did he get to rule over my life? I understood that he did it to save more heartbreak, but it didn't mean that hearts wouldn't be broken still.

  "You're angry reading." Phoenix said and I ignored him. "Did you know that you read when you're angry? It's weird. Your eyebrows get all furrowed and you as if you could punch whoever interrupts you."

"Which would be you." I grumbled and flipped the page. "Go put on some clothes."

"Nah, I rather stand here. Actually..." He came over and sat on my bed. Now ignoring him was much harder. I glanced up at his chest quickly then back to my book. "I saw that." He said and grabbed the book from my hands.

"Hey! Give that back!" I reached out to grab it but he raised it above his head.

"Not until you talk to me."

"Am I not talking to you right now?"

"No, I want you to talk to me."

"I'm not 'talking' to you until you put on some damn clothes." He looked at me seriously before blinking slowly and standing up.

"Fine. You better spill all the beans when I get back." He pointed a finger at me then went into the bathroom. With my book as well.

  Phoenix came back out in a green t-shirt and jeans. "Harry Potter. I remember reading the first book back when my parents were still around." He said and sat down on my bed. I crossed my legs and leaned back on the headrest.

"So you were seven when you read it?"

"Yup. I had to keep asking my parents what words meant. They gave up and just gave me a dictionary." I smiled as I pictured him going back and forth from the book and a dictionary as a little kid. "We need to talk because of what Danny told you. You're not the only one with good hearing." He looked me right in the eye. "I know you well enough to know that you are hurting inside. You do know that you can always turn back to Danny. I won't die if you choose him."

"There's nothing to talk about. I am perfectly fine."

"Oh yah? Explain why you were angry reading, than."

"I was not."

"Yes, you were."

"No."

"Yes." We went on for a bit until I was tired of the nonsense. "I hate you." I muttered.

"Back at ya." He winked and went over to his bed, leaving the book on the nightstand.

  I tossed around a lot. Unable to fall asleep. My head was still so clouded with words.

I gave you a chance.

Aceept it.

I'll love you always...

You broken thing.

I bet everyone stays with you out of pity.

  "Kitten?" Phoenix said and broke through the words. "I know you're awake so please explain why you're breathing like you just ran a marathon."

"Sorry." I choked out and tried to calm my breathing. I could hear my heart thud and I wasn't getting enough air each breath.

"Would you like me to come over there?"

"N-no." I bunched up the blanket in my fist and heard the rustling from Phoenix's bed. He got down beside me and immediately I felt his heat.

"How come your bed is comfiest than mine?" He asked and shifted around. "Mine is like a rock." I barely heard him over the words haunting me.

Dying.

I'm dying.

I need air.

I can't take this anymore.

It's useless.

I've failed.

There's no escape.

  "Look at me!" Phoenix commanded and shook my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, he looked so scared in the dim light of the fireball beside us. "Breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth." I did as he told. In... Out... In... Out... "Stop shaking." He held my hands out to show me how I was shaking like a leaf. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. I was paralyzed. Confused of what was going on. "You're so cold." He said softly as he rubbed my back.

  I didn't want to move. I couldn't if I tried. All I could do was breathe. I focused only on that and Phoenix whispering comforting things into my hair. "So how worried so I be on a scale of one to ten?" He said loud enough for me to reply.

"Two or three." I answered. "I'm okay now. I think."

"I was thinking more of twenty-five. Since you replied, it's now a twenty-three." I reached my hand up and started to fiddle with my necklace. "Have you worn that this entire time?" Phoenix said and pulled me back.

"It's comforting." I said and dropped my hand. "Reminded me of our times together while you were asleep." He stared at me to make sure he heard me right. I couldn't believe I said that myself. I didn't realize that it was true until I thought about it.

  "Kitten, I'm going to give you five seconds before I come over there and kiss you." Phoenix warned. I started to count. 1... 2... Phoenix bent his head down. 3... 4... He was so close that I could smell the mint of his brushed teeth. 5... His lips met mine in a soft kiss. I never wanted it to end. Right then and there, it was only us two. Two people who have defied death to come together in the end.

  Phoenix looked at me like he was unsure on what to do now. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him back for another kiss. "How do you always find a way to make me feel better?" I asked and rested my head on his chest. His heart softly beat against my ear as I felt his heat radiating off him.

"You feeling better now?" He murmured into my hair.

"Much." I smiled into his shirt.

"Let's sleep now. We're going home tomorrow."

"We are?" I asked as he laid me down.

"Your dad told me. Now sleep." He kissed my forehead and pulled the blanket up.

"Wait." I reached out with my bandaged arm and grabbed his wrist. "If it's not too much to ask for...stay."

"Whatever you ask me to do will never be too much." He laid down beside me and placed his arm under my back. I rolled into him and curled into a ball. "Sweet dreams." I lightly sneezed. "And bless you, Kitten."

"I don't sneeze like a cat..." I mumbled as sleep took over me.

"Yes, but you do sneeze like a kitten. And it's the best thing ever."