Road Trip to Love

chapter 15: the plan

What the crap? Aren’t they supposed to be jumping up and down with excitement because I made up my mind earlier than expected? They should be doing that, but no they stand there looking at me like I have 3 heads and 7 eyes. Are they just going to stand there the whole time and not say a thing?

No one has said a thing for a couple of minutes. Ok, I really don’t like awkward silences! I’m done with all the stupid silence, so I guess I’ll start a conversation.

“Well, are you guys going to say anything,” I asked them getting impatient.

“Oh, yea,” Mason said snapping out of his trance.

“So, what’s your plan about,” Lexi told me also snapping out of her trance.

“Well, I was thinking….” I said trailing off.

“You were  thinking….” she told me motioning with her hands for me to finish my sentence that I started.

“Well, I was thinking since we finish up school on Friday for the summer, we could go visit her. We can only visit for about 2 weeks though. I can’t miss work and either can you. We don’t have to fly; we can go on a road trip. Mason could even come with us,” I said rambling. Before they could input anything about the idea, I started talking again. “I know I’m not quite ready to forgive her, but I will be ready before we arrive there. I promise you,” I told them finishing.

“I think that’s great! I haven’t left this area for about 10 years when we took that trip to Europe,” she said excitedly.

“Mason, how about you,” I questioned him.

“Yea, I think it’s a great idea, Sophia,” he told me.

“Ok then, we leave here in 6 days peoples! Start packing,” I said in a fake serious voice.

“Yes ma’am,” Mason told me saluting me.

I laughed at that. He’s still the funny guy I fell in love with. Whenever Lexi would ask me if I still loved him, I’d say no even though I knew it wasn’t the truth. How could I tell her? If I did, she’d tell me something like how he broke my heart before. Yea, he cheated on me with Eliza, but he was always there for me. When Eliza moved he was my shoulder to cry on. He made me laugh. He made every single situation better. We joked around with each other for a bit then I looked into his eyes the same time he looked into mine. We stopped laughing. I know for a fact that he wants to try to get back together with me. I guess you can call it a friend’s intuition. I can’t get back together with him though. He cheated on me once before so he could do it again. I just can’t go back to my old life that I left behind yet. I’m not ready to face it just yet.

“Sophia, you forgive me right,” he asked me.

“Yea, I forgive you,” I told him not knowing where this conversation is going.

“Well, do you ever think we could ever get back together,” he questioned me shyly.

“No, I’m sorry. What you did to me hurt me a lot. You could do it to me again in a blink of an eye,” I said as I quickly left the room. I didn’t make much distance between him and me before his familiar grip took ahold of my hand.

“I know that, and I’m sorry. I will never do that again,” he told me sincerely.

“Tell that to your next girlfriend,” I retorted to him. Crap, wrong thing to say. “I’m sorry that was uncalled for,” I apologized.

“I understand,” was all he said as he walked off. Why do I keep on hurting the ones that I love dearly? When I hurt them, it hurts me. It hurts me so much inside. I can’t bear it.

I walk to my art studio. I need to clear my mind, but I don’t have enough energy to paint right now. All I want to do is look at all of my paintings. I bet I have hundreds in here. I want to look at all of them, but I want to look at one specific one. I want to look at the painting of the hot young man and me. I want to study it. Study it like I didn’t before. I want to figure out why I painted him? Why him? I didn’t even know I had a picture of him in my locket until yesterday after I painted the painting. All of this is crazy! The painting, the locket, Eliza’s and my situation, but mostly my entire life. It’s been nothing but crazy for the past 7 years, but I’ve always dealt with it.

I’ve bet I’ve been in here for hours. That really isn’t a surprise to me. If I’m not at my classes or my job, I’m in here. People would think that I’d get tired painting in my classes, at my job, and in my studio, but I never do. I have no clue what I would do without my studio. I love it so much.

I’m getting tired. I don’t have the energy anymore to pick myself up and go to bed. I just slumped down onto the floor. I got in the perfect spot in which I can see my most recent painting. I drift off to sleep thinking about the mysterious guy again….