Captured (A Finchel Story)

Chapter 27

(2 weeks till graduation)

I watch Leroy and Hiram as they plan my Goodbye Lima- Hello New York Party.
Its nice seeing them together again after their break up. Our dinner a few weeks ago where I told them that I would go to New York was just awkward and weird. Both didnt want to talk or look at each other. Its different today, they laugh and smile, make jokes, and even touch each other sometimes.
I'm not hoping for a come back of their love, but I want them to be at least friends and both can stay in the same room without staring at each other in anger.
But the event why they are here together is kind of sad. Even though I always wanted to leave Lima, I have this weird feeling that I am doing a mistake. Maybe its because of Finn. Because of that one night one week ago, where he told me the whole story, where he kissed me, where everything was confusing and amazing at the same time.
I dont want to leave him, but I dont want to stay here either. Finn would want me to stay, I know that, he would want me to wait here for him, so that we can both start a life together.
Theres nothing wrong about that imagination, just that its not what I want. I love Finn, but I dont think that I could wait 5 years for him. I couldnt handle it that I can only see him on specific days, that I can only see him through a glass window and that its forbidden for us to touch each other.
I couldnt live with that.
If I move, then I'll have to leave him alone in Lima and he'll have to manage his life by himself. There is no one going to wait for him, especially not his family who still believes in that he killed Lacey.
Its sad that he actually has no family and that none of them ever visited him in the prison. That no one ever listened to his story, but me.

I sometimes wondered what my life would be like if I didnt meet Finn, if he didnt sit in the cafeteria that one day, if Kitty and me werent forced to sit at his table and talk to him.
If I didnt get slushied that one day and Mike didnt help me. If Mike wouldnt have noticed me and fell for me. If  I could live a normal life without all the lies, secrets and all the hate.
Without the Hudson family. Without trouble.
But I got to the point that it just would be a really boring life and that, even though the whole situation is making me sick, I wouldnt want to change any of  this.
Except for the thing with my dads; I want them to be together again, but I'm aware of that I cant force two adults into something they're not comfortable of; all the effort and trying would be useless and a waste of time.

"Hey Rachel how about a garden party?", Leroy yells over to me.
"Yes why not?", I reply and drink my tea.
Hiram claps excited. "I'll be organising the horses!"
My mouth falls open. "Horses?"
Both look at me in excitement. "Yes of course! You always said that you want horses to every party!", Hiram replies.
"I was five when I said that! And this is my graduation party! I'll be inviting friends and we're going to have fun! There wont be any horses or unicorn balloons!", I yell pretty shocked.
Leroy and Hiram both turn quiet and mumble something to each other which I can't understand.
"Fine then not", is what Leroy says, you can't ignore the disappointment in his voice.
I roll my eyes and walk over to them.
"Dont be mad. Its just, I am not your little girl anymore. Im 17, I am going to New York. I am going to NYADA, a great college. Dont you think horses are a little bit childish at a party like this?"
"A horse is never childish", replies Hiram, defending his horses with passion.
All I can do is rolling my eyes over and over again.
"No. Horses. Dads."
Both mumble something and with that I go upstairs to my room.
I am excited for my Goodbye Party, especially when I am going to invite friends.
Problem is; I dont really have friends. Im still talking with Kurt and I of course consider him as a good friend of mine but I dont know if he thinks like that as well.
Kitty is the same problem. We talk, I am not mad at her, but in some way theres still a problem between us and this problem is Finn.
And here it comes to my next problem; I will need to tell him goodbye.
I swore myself not to visit the prison ever again, because it just scares me and because it reminds me of that Finn is in there innocent, but I will need to go there one more time again.
My dads are going to throw the party the day after my graduation and just two days after the party, i'll be leaving off to New York. So i have two days to find the words to tell him goodbye and explaining him that I cant stay and that I dont want to wait for him.
I know that it is going to be over after this talk, even though it probably never really started.
And somehow i want to tell Mike also goodbye. I know that he hates me and that he's angry with me that I love Finn and not him, but I couldnt handle it leaving Lima without seeing his face one more time again.

My phone rings and so I pick it up without looking at the display to check who calls me.
I probably should have checked it.
"Hi Rachel"
"Mike...", I whisper. To be honest I am not too surprised, my life is so messed up that it was clear that MIke would call me just when I think of him.
"How are you?", he asks shy.
Nice question. "I'm fine. How about you?", I reply but I feel extremly awkward.
"Good as well."
Then theres silence, and no one seems to want to talk.
"I'm sorry about what happened a few weeks ago", Mike finally mumbles and I nod but just start to notice that he cant see me nodding through a telephone.
"Were you serious about what you told me? That I'm an enemy to you?", I ask, afraid of the answer.
"Well ... at first. But to be honest I am just mad and angry. I always thought you would choose me, not him. Its just not fair. Its always Finn."
"Werent you the one making out with Lacey?", I respond angry, feeling the need to protect Finn in every possible way.
"She didnt love him anymore. It was her decision. And its none of your business."
"I do think it is my business"
"Why would you think that?"
"You are the reason why Finn is in jail now. I do have an interest in knowing why you would do something like that to your own brother"
Mike stays quiet for a pretty long time. It gives me enough space to think about what he said. Lacey didnt love Finn anymore, thats why she cheated on him. But thats the complete opposite of what Finn told me; he said that they loved each other, that she loved him and he loved her. Or did he just imagine this?
"Lets meet somewhere. BreadStixx in 1 hour?"


Mike sits at a table far away from all the other people, he probably knows that this is going to be a really intense conversation.
I walk through the restaurant towards Mike and sit down infront of him.
His gaze gives me chills, and I dont even want that. 
A waitress with ginger hair comes to our table and asks if we want to drink or eat anything. We both deny.
"So Finn told you what happened?", Mike asks. He doesnt look at me, he chose a point in the distance, maybe to avoid eye contact.
"He did.", I answer emotionless.
"What did he tell you?"
"That he saw you and Lacey making out. That he pushed her on the street. That he thought he killed her. That he didnt want to kill her. That when he came back that evening he heard her in the yard talking with someone. He heard how someone threw a stone at her. Then he saw her laying dead on the ground, but no one was around. Then you came."
That must be a really brief summary about what Finn told me.
Mike bites his lips and keeps focusing the point in the distance he chose before.
"Thats all?"
"Yes", I reply, "Is there more?"
He leans back, his gaze is now on me. "Dont know. Maybe that it must be a lie what he tells you"
"How are you supposed to know?"
"He's my brother, Rachel. I know him since I am born. You only know him for quite a few weeks. Who do you think knows him better?"
"None of us does. But you could at least try to understand him"
Mike laughs. "Understand him? Why would I want to understand a killer?"
"He's not a killer!", I yell and the whole restaurant turns around to me. I look down and low my voice.
"He's not. Youre focusing on something completely wrong. He was there because he wanted to talk with her, not kill her!"
Mike shakes his head. "But he tried. The situation on the street? Did you forget about this?"
"I didnt and he felt awful about that. He came back because of that"
Mike crosses his arms infront of his chest and looks at the ceiling.
"And if you're so smart Mike, then tell me why were you there, with the police? Why did you know Finn would come?", I ask with raised eyebrows at him and for a second he seems confused, like he didnt expect me to ask this.
But he sits up soon after being confused and leans forward to me.
"Her mom called me, telling me that someone was in their yard talking to Lacey. She said he looked and sounded like Finn. She called the police, and I came right after she called me."
"Now who's lying, Berry?", he adds after he gazes at my shocked face.
If her mom also says that it was Finn, then could it be possible that ... ?
"Finn is using you Rachel. And you know that. As if he would feel something for you. If you disappoint him, then you're his next victim". His voice is so quiet that it almost scares me. Well not almost; it does scare me. But I cant let him scare me. Finn isnt using me, I know that, and I cant stop trusting him. He needs me, just as much as I need him.
"How am I supposed to know that youre not lying to me? Where does her mom live? Let me talk to her."
Mike laughs. "You really wanna talk to her and bring up all the memories again? It wont help anyone, not Finn, not Lacey, not her family. Leave it like it is, Berry."
I shake my head. "But what if Finn's innocent? What if the murder is still out there? Do you really want to hang around and wait? Just because youre so convinced about the fact that it was Finn?"
"Not just me Rachel. Everyone is. Except for you. Love turns people blind, right? Youre the best example for this"
All I feel is anger. "Mike please. If the murder is still out there and someone could be killed every single minute."
"Its 1 year ago. No one has been killed ever since. The murder is in jail, the right one. Live with it. Dont let him manipulate you."
Mike stands up, his hand on my shoulder.
"Stay away from him, Rachel."
He walks away but this time I wont let that be the result of the conversation.
Mike is already out of the building as I stand up and run after him.
The people in the restaurant look after me, but I dont really care about them or why they do.

"Mike!", I scream after i closed the door behind me.
He turns around. "Yes?"
"Did you kill her?"
Mike opens his mouth, but doesnt reply.