The Story of Us

Harry: Decisions, Decisions

I fondled with my fingers, looking down. I twirled my wedding ring around my finger, just like I always do when I’m nervous. 

--I don’t expect you to know how it feels, Niall!- Louis screamed, again, and hit his fist again the polished mahogany desk.

-Well, sure doesn’t look like it!- Niall yelled back.

-Boys,- Liam stepped in between them. –Let’s be rational about this.-

-Rational? We’ve been at this for the last three months,- Zayn muttered and rolled his eyes.

-That’s because Niall doesn’t want to decide!- Louis added. Niall shot him an evil eye.

-Look, we agreed that, when the time comes, we’ll all decide together, okay? Not three of us, or four of us, but the five of us.-

I realised not that the looks of all four of them were locked at me now. I glanced back at all of them. Zayn was laid back on a chair with his feet on the table and didn’t pay much attention to what was going on. Liam was keeping Niall and Lou apart at the head of the round conference table. Behind them the city of London and the Thames were at their usual Friday afternoon.

-What?- I asked.

-Jesus Christ, Harry, there’s no use of you.- I frowned to Louis’ comment. I’ve always been the youngest one and for some reason people just thought I wasn’t serious. I was, when the time came. But now I couldn’t bare myself to think about this seriously. A choice like this will, one way or another, change our lives. The question is, how?

-Let’s just go over this once more,- Liam suggested, -Zayn, you want to finally settle down with Perrie.- Zayn nodded with a grin. –Lou wants to help El with the baby. Niall wants to propose to Lucy. Harry- he looked at me with those puppy dog brown eyes. –Sara is about to deliver any day now.—

Lou cut him off, -All in favour?- He and Zayn raised their hands. Liam hesitated with his hand in mid-air.  Niall rolled his eyes.

-Oh come on, Niall!-

-Well, excuse me if I want to stay together as a band!- An awkward silence fell down on us. We’ve tried to avoid saying words like that, but now when Niall said it, it just seems… wrong.

We’ve been talking about this for the last few months, but this is the time we are supposed to come up with an answer- do a back-to-back world tour, or… split up.

I took a good look at all of them, knowing that this is possibly the last time we’re together as One Direction.

I swallowed back a tear.

-Lou,- I said quietly. He shot me a wild look. –You- you know how hard this is for us. I mean, it’s not paper or plastic. It’s One Direction or no direction.-

-How can you be kidding in a time like this?!- he stepped towards me and Niall let out a sigh of relief. Liam was ready to jump in between us, too. Looking at Louis now made me remember everything. The first time we met, that time we shared a flat, the speech at my wedding and all those times he’d just make me burst into laughter. Everything right up to this moment.

I piled up all my courage and looked him in the eyes. –Don’t you think you’re being a little… selfish?-

The look in his eyes read, I shall strangle you with my bare hands.

-Selfish? Harry, I’m tired. I can’t do this anymore.-

-Then why didn’t you just quit?- we were chest-to-chest now.

-Because that would be selfish. Just think how the fans would react if I’d le—

-Just think of how the fans would react if we told them we’re splitting up.- I couldn’t look him in the eyes anymore.

-Fans?- Zayn sat up, suddenly interested in the conversation. –We’re not interesting anymore. Lou’s 28. I’m 27. They’re- he motioned to Niall and Liam- 26 and so are you.- he pointed at my chest. –We’re not a boyband anymore, Harry. We’re a worn-out-boring-old-men band.-

-Well you sure aren’t acting like you’re men,- Niall sounded from the back.

-Like I said, Niall,- Louis continued in a seemingly calmer tone of voice, - You aren’t tied down as much as we are. Yeah sure, you have Lucy. But, Liam, Harry and I are married, Zayn’s engaged and I and Harry have a baby—

-Mine’s on the way,- I corrected him.

Lou rolled his eyes and continued, --Harry’s baby is too slow. My point is, if you want to do a world tour, go, I’m not stopping you. But, you’ll do it all by yourself. You’ll be the one direction.-

Niall looked at Liam who shook his head in an I’m sorry mate kind of way. Then he looked at me and I stood petrified, not knowing what to do.

-Wait, don’t I get a say in this?- I asked in Louis’ direction.

-What, Harry, you’re saying that you want to travel the world for a year and sing candy pop songs to a bunch of 30 year old fangirls and their daughters while your wife stands home and raises your child alone without a proper father?-

-No, I— I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I didn’t feel sad or confused anymore, I felt angry.

 –We’re supposed to be brothers, right? Well, we’re falling apart and if you think that’s okay, I don’t want any part in this. I’m out!- And with those words I left the room and shut the door to my four ‘brothers’.