A dancer with cancer

Chapter 12

When I woke up. I remembered what happened yesterday. That thought was a little bit scary and sad, but I was done crying. Besides I still have a chance to live, so who cares what anyone says. I am still conflicted whether I should live my life from now on like it was everyone day, or should I live it like I am "dying". I still have to make my wish from the children's hospital program. I now I want to meet someone famous, but I am not sure who.

"Good morning sweetie." My mom got up and walk to my bed. Her eyes were puffy from crying. I think the fact that her daughter might die was hurting her.

"Morning mommy!" I put my small slender arms around her waist. "We don't have to cry anymore. I am going to live. That's my decision, not the doctors." I confirmed.

"No honey, it's gods decision." I nodded agreeing, as she corrected me. "Anyways you have therapy today."

"What kind?"

"Play time." She said smiling. I love play time therapy. For me it's not play time really. It's Dance class, I guess they call it play time for the younger kids in the hospital. I have dance class at the hospital with a private teacher. My mom doesn't come to my lessons with me. She gives me time off from her. You would only understand if you have had cancer how attached your mothers become to you. They are always right beside you 24/7!

"Are you going to tell Maeve, what the doctor told you?"

"No! She will freak and have a panic attack! She will be so upset, I can't give that pain!"

"Well... Ok," She said somewhat agreeing with me, "get dressed your lesson is at 1 pm, and I want you to stretch and you need to warm up!" Before I had cancer, my mom was a crazy "dance mom" I was dancing at a professional level. That why we relate to the show so much. I compete still, I just don't enter in as many categories, because I don't have that much time to rehearse and practice. I do jazz, tap, ballet, acro (I am very flexible, mainly because I am so small), hip hop and lyrical.

I go dress in my dance clothes, which for people who dance is really spandex short shorts and a top that looks like a sports bra. I threw an off the shoulder top over my top. I put on my jazz shoes. I put a full face of makeup on. As soon as I came out of the bathroom my mom said,

"Start with a chin stand!" I did as she said.

I warmed up for about 3 hours. When I didn't have cancer I use to practice around 6 hours a day. I stopped to have lunch which for me was yogurt and berries and then headed off to dance class.

*****

"Back hand spring, now bridge, Russian splits..." My dance teachers voice trailed off. I know my dance steps. I am doing a lyrical/ acro routine to the song A Team, I am also doing a hip hop routine to Disturbia. The dance steps I am doing are not even close to challenging for me. The most challenging dances for me are the ones that I have to be "sexy" yeah right! Try being sexy with no boobs, no butt and no hair on your head to flick. It's really hard.

"Good class girly!!" My dance teacher gave me hug.

"Thanks."

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Ummm, a dancer, I guess."

"You guess? Girl, your better then anyone I've seen." He told me looking at me with his big brown eyes. I have always had a crush on him. He looked like Drake. He was gorge. But way out of my league, he is sixteen and a professional.

"Thanks." I said blushing.

"I mean it." He said.

"We'll I guess you've never seen yourself then!" I exclaimed smiling. He laughed.

"I guess not." He said playing along. "I'll be back next week." He kissed me on the cheek. I blushed. I should have turned my face! He turned and walked out. I just stood there standing and starring in awe watching home walk out.

"Dat ass." I said to myself. I turned on the music and danced to fly. That was a good song for me, it described me perfectly.

I came to win, to fly,to concur, to thrive...

I love that song. I sighed with happiness.

After I was done dancing. I walk out of the "dance studio" and headed for the elevator. I pressed the button and off I went. I walk off the elevator sweaty but still smiling. Dancing just made me feel so alive. I felt like me again, not just some 13 year old girl with cancer. I walked into my hospital room to see my mom sitting on her bed and just staring out the window.

"Mom?"

"Hi honey, how was dance?" As she turned around I looked at her eyes. Red and puffy. She was crying. I don't know about you, but every time I think of my mom crying, my heart breaks. I walked up to her and draped my arms around her and kissed her cheek.

"We are going to be ok." I explained looking into her eyes. My eyes told her that every word I said I meant. I forgot I was still sweaty while I was hugging, but didn't care. I don't think she did either.

We sat there hugging each other for a couple of minutes saying nothing until I interrupted the peace.

"I am going to go have a shower." I confirmed getting up to walking to the bathroom.

After my shower I put on cozy pyjamas and headed out in my pjs. My mom was also wearing hers.

We watched Marley and Me, until I fell asleep.

****

I woke up around midnight with a horrible pain in the side of my stomach.

"Mom," no answer, "mom, mom, mommy."

"What is it honey?" She said still half asleep.

"My side hurts." I confirmed.

"Ok. I'll call a nurse in here." She picked up the phone and dialed a number. "Hi can you send a nurse to our room please? Ok thanks so much."

A few minutes later a young nurse walked in. I didn't know her. I don't know most of the night shift workers.

"Hi sweetie, can you tell me what you need?" It sounded like she loved her job.

"My side hurts." I said wincing, as I clutched it.

"Do you want pain meds?"

"Please!" She left the room and came back with two pills and a glass of water.

"Thank you." I took the pills and swallowed them down with a glass of water as she left the room.

There is one thing I realized a long time ago, cancer hurts.