Temporary Hate

Chapter One

I stare at the little boy uncomfortably and he seems to have no problem staring back from his perch on top of a Winnie the Pooh blanket laid on the floor. He was so tiny. Like an ant.

His small face stretches into a toothless smile and he giggles loudly. A retched smell fills the room and he starts crying abruptly. I look around the room panicking, unsure how to proceed. "Carson! Amy! He's crying!" I shout. Amy rushes out of the hallway wearing a bright yellow sundress and sweeps Grayson up into her arms. "Hey, it's okay," she sooths, bouncing him slightly on her hip. Pregnancy does some...amazing things to the female body. A hand slaps me on the back of the head, hard. "Don't look at my fianceé like that McDough," Carson Andrews says before handing me another beer. "I was admiring, in a friendly way. There's a difference," I defend, smililing.

"Don't. But I don't blame you. She's definitely more sensitive. And her ass...you have no idea," Carson whispers.

"Carson! Don't you dare tell our friends stuff like that!" Amy shouts as she sets a now quiet Grayson on her lap. I laugh so hard beer sprays out my nose. "But honey, it's true! Pregnancy did amazing things to your body. Not that it wasn't amazing before," Carson backtracks. She rolls her eyes and feeds Grayson baby food making airplane noises. Jealousy that I'll never admit to flowed through my gut. They were a happy family, despite not being married.

"I'm done," I say suddenly, "with the military I mean." Carson's eyes widen in surprise. "Why? Did something happen?" He asks. I shake my head no and look down at the beer in my hands.

"I just need change you know? This next tour is going to be my last," I answer finishing my beer off. "What are you gonna do?" Amy asks handing Grayson over to Carson. "Law enforcement probably. I'm not sure yet, but I know I'm done."

"That's a big step Gavin. But you're family, so you have my support," she says sweetly. I nod and smile gratefully. "Well I'm gonna head back to my apartment. Call the parents and such," I mutter. They both nod and Carson walks me to the door,"are you sure Gavin?"

I nod. "Positive."

When I arrive at my empty apartment I set my keys on the desk in the hall and set my jacket on the closet door hook. My apartment is very small. The kitchen and living room are basically the same thing and the only separate rooms happen to be my bedroom and the bathroom. My mom had always seemed concerned with my small living conditions, but I like them.

In the military small spaces were good. There were a limited amount of entrances and exits so it was easy to keep track of them.

All the apartments I'd ever had were small and quaint with only enough to space to survive. I'd explained this to my mom a countless number of times but it never seemed to matter what I thought. But then again, mothers always had to find something wrong with you even if there was nothing wrong with you. My dad on the other hand didn't give a shit.

When I moved out the house his last words were somewhere along the lines of I don't give a fuck about anything you do from here on out, just don't get a girl you don't know knocked up. And I agreed with the last part of that statement.

If I had to be honest, it kind of sucks coming home to an empty house. Nobody to ask how my day was or to say they love me. But then again, maybe that was best. I'm rarely here and I've seen what happens to military families when they learn a loved one had died in the line of duty.

Everyday I live with that fear that my mom could have some stranger come to the house and tell her I'd died. A painful death is the only kind of death in the military. There's never a quick way out. Usually a soldier would have to wait hours or days for rescue and typically by then they would have died. Either from hyenas or blood loss. Neither seemed appealing but the hyenas was more...alluring than blood loss , which was a slower death than any.

I take a quick shower to wash away all my depressing and annoying thoughts. The warm water runs down back steadily casting a calm over me that I haven't had since the beginning of my last tour. I wipe a hand down my face as I wrap a towel around my waist. I quickly shave my sprouting stubble and pull on a pair of clean boxers.

As soon as I spot my bed a few inches away exhaustion tears through me. I crash on to it and immediately fall asleep.

The following morning I wake to the shrill cry of my phone. "McDough," I groan, tired. "Gavin?" A soft voice asks.

"Mom? Why are you...calling so early," I yawned, rubbing the sleep out my eyes. "You're dad Gavin. He had a stroke abput a week ago hon," she says sadly. I clutch my temples with my thumb and middle finger. It was to early for this. "A stroke? How did...I don't understand."

"Can you come down here?"

"Ma, my breaks almost up. I'm going back in a few weeks," I groan not really there to comprehend what she's telling me. "Gavin, your father is sick, he needs you here. I need you here. I called in a hospice nurse."

"Ma-"

"Please Gavin. I know you're still mad at him, but he's still you're father." I sigh and rub a hand over my shortly cropped hair. "I'll see what I can do Ma. Love you," I answer shortly.

"I love you to Gavin. I hope I see you down here." She hangs up and I toss my phone back on the night stand.

Motherfucker of all fucks. "Fuck!" I shouted. I pace my bedroom back and forth, a million thoughts running through my mind at once. Last time I saw my father was two years ago and it hadn't ended well. We had gotten into a shouting match after he had found entertainment in beating the shit out my mom. He'd taken a nose dive and had drunk himself into a very alcohol induced corner.

I don't know why she had stayed with him. I hated him with all my heart.

If he ever hurt her again I'd kill him. And I meant that.

*******

So this is the sequel to Temporary Pain. If you haven't read it that's okay because this series will be stand alones. They are connected by characters though.