Temporary Hate

Bonus Chapter

What the fuck was that? She has never pulled away like that before. And I don't think my heart can take another blow like that.

I pull up to the hotel where Irene is staying and make my way to her room.

I knock once, three times and once more. The door unlocks and I walk inside. "People aren't happy Gavin. With Lark gone the cartel is becoming more brave," Irene snaps.

"I know, I know. We need to find his sorry ass," I mumble as I pull my jacket off and set it on the chair.

"No shit Sherlock. But we can't expect him to make this easy for us. He has a shitload of cops on his side that are near impossible to uncover."

I nod absentmindedly. What did I do wrong? Sam was so cold towards me. "What's got you twisted up inside McDough?" Irene asks. She's young, barely twenty and working for the Marshalls office. I'm proud of her though, she's come a long way since being arrested in the raid I found her in.

She was bone thin and weak. At seventeen she was already addicted to the drugs the cartel had forced into her.

Now she's stronger. Her blue died hair is short, really short but it suits her. When she's not undercover she's covered in piercings and loves the hell out of a pair of combat boots.

This was her way of getting back. Helping put the men who hurt her behind bars.

"My wife-. Never mind. No need to burden you with my problems," I say softly.

"Burden me? Really? You saved my life Gavin. You took me out of that hellhole and put me with a family who cared when you didn't have to. You saved my self image. Hell I tried to give you a blowjob as thanks, because that's what I was used to, and you pulled me up and shook some sense into me. Told me I was worth more than an object to be used. That? That's a burden. So lay your shitty domestic problems on me."

I chuckle softly. "Sam wouldn't kiss me before I came here," I blurt out.

"Maybe she's into that delayed gratification shit. It reminds me of that fifty shades guy. Wait, y'all aren't into that kinky shit are you?" She asks scrunching up her face. I laugh loudly. "No, but my handcuffs come in handy sometimes."

She raises her hands in surrender. "More than I needed to know. Actually, tell me more."

I roll my eyes, my thoughts easing away from Sam hurting me. An hour after we started working Irene looked up at me. "Gavin?"

"Yeah?" I ask, taking in her posture and her refusal to look me in the eye. Shit, it must be something serious.

"What does it feel like to be in love with someone?"

I nearly choke on air. "Just never mind-"

"I'm sorry. You caught me off guard," I apologize. "So? What does it feel like?"

I take a deep breath, gathering my thoughts. "To be in love with someone is like having a limb. You are so attached to that person. So enamored. All you can think about is them, what they're doing, thinking, saying. It's consuming. And when that person is gone, even for a few hours, it's like someone took your arms. Like someone took a piece of you, not just physically, and you know that you can't function without them. You feel utterly lost," I say smiling.

"Is that how you feel about Sam?" She asks quietly. I nod, smiling like a loon.

"That times a million. At this point I can definitely say if I lost her I would die. Everyday I love her more than the day before. Everything I am, everything I live for comes down to her and my babies occupying her body," I say softly. Irene smiles contently.

"I should head home," I say stretching to grab my coat. Irene stands and walks me to the door. "You're my only family Gavin. I don't want to see you hurt," she says before hugging me.

I wrap an arm around her and make my way home.

"Here," Sam says as I walk into the door, throwing two of my duffel bags onto the floor. I stare at them in confusion.

"Why are you throwing my bags around?"

"Your shit is packed. So I need you to leave. Now," she adds when I don't move.

I march into the kitchen and grab a beer. I try to keep my face blank but it feels like someone is tearing my heart out. She's tearing it out. "I don't want you here," she says following me. "This is my house to Sam. You have no right to kick me out," I snap. She flinches and I reach out to comfort her but she pulls away. "Then I'll leave!" She says and walks upstairs.

This time I follow her into our bedroom where she's shoving things into a suit case.

"Sam stop. Stop!" I shout when she doesn't listen. She keeps shoving her clothes into her bag. "Sam, don't leave. Please baby. You're pregnant and it's late," I beg. "Then leave!" I shake my head, my eyes filling. Why is she doing this to me? "Leave!" She demands her hands resting on our babies. "I can't Sam. Baby I don't understand what's happening," I reply. I swear my heart hurts, hurts so fucking bad.

"Leave! Get out! Take your shit and fucking leave!" She shouts again.

"Why?! What did I do Sam?" I shout past the lump in my throat.

"Irene! You did Irene!" She screams, the sound filled with anguish. "What?" I whisper.

"You fucked another woman Gavin! You cheated on me after six months of being married!" She cries, tears rushing down her face.

"No! No baby, I would never do that to you," I say falling on my knees in front of her. I don't bother wiping away my tears.

"I don't understand what I did wrong Gavin. I loved you so much. What did I do to deserve this?!" She cries. "I didn't cheat on you baby. I swear on my life. I swear on the lives of our two unborn girls. Please. Please believe me Sam. I love you so damn much baby. Please. I love you, only you. There's no one else, never will be. Believe me," I beg, huge sobs leaving my chest.

"Then who's Irene? Why did you meet with her?" She asks, tears still rolling down her face.

********

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