sweet//cameron dallas

life update

two weeks.
two fucking weeks of being ignored. In this time of being ignored I have had more time to catch up on all my reading. I had bought some books in the beginning of the year, and got so distracted with helping Cameron, that I never read them. I have gone through five of them, each one dragging more than the last.
These past weeks I have also been spending more time with Nash and his grandmother. Her stories are ones that should be written down, published and sold in every book store all over the word. Her words are ones that keep me going. She always compliments my appearance, telling me how lucky Nash is to know me. She always tells me how my curls look like Shirley Temples. She tells me that I look like her too. I cannot see it.  Each day we go to the hospital, Nash and I bring her bags of hard boiled candy. She likes the honey ones and the Carmel.
Allison has also developed a love for shopping. Every weekend she drives to the mall with me, and we look around the Macy's, and the Jcpennys. Lately we've been looking for prom dresses. Neither of us have dates yet, but I wouldn't blame anyone. It's only December.
The weather has been getting colder and colder, and I have been missing the bus almost everyday due to my tiredness. I always find myself hitting the snooze button, and at the end of the day my brain is fried. Sometimes, on my way to school, Cameron will drive down my street. I think he does it to make me angry, but sometimes I feel as if he's waiting for me to stop his car and apologize. He has driven down my street a few times with his arms around girls. I think he does that to make me jealous. And maybe it's working.
I overheard Mrs. Recklone talking to Cameron after school the other day. His grade is back down to a forty. He said that he was meeting with me after school, but that wasn't true. He was lying. I wanted to walk in there like the first day I had really met him. I wanted her to ask me to tutor him again. I was waiting. Patiently, waiting. But she never did. His lie was slowing ripping apart. Until one day, she came up to me and asked me about our study sessions. She had asked me if I was meeting with him on a once a week basis. I said I was.
As for Shawn, he has been very nice towards me lately. The only time he was mean to me was that one phone call, but he explained that he was drunk on whiskey and rum at someone's party. Although Shawn is nice to me, I have noticed that he shows no affection towards other people in my circle of friends. Small circle, that is. I see the way he talks to Nash. It's like he's spitting all over him with hate. But he can take it. As for him and Allison, she told me he was making fun of her after school once. Nash was there, too. They told me he was pointing out how her hips weren't perfect, how they curved in and didn't flow out like other girls. He told her how fat she was, and how chubby her legs are. Nash stood up for her. He's a good guy.
My mom has been very depressed lately. I haven't seen my father in weeks. He left for a business trip in Paris a couple weeks ago, and hasn't returned. We hope he hasn't passed away in the attacks that happened a couple weeks ago. We pray for his safety, even though we aren't the praying type. My mother assumes he is dead, and has been taking her stress out on me. She makes me do everything. She makes me make dinner, makes me clean everything, makes me feed the dog. It's like a never ending cycle of work. The only time I get a break, is on Sunday's. There's really nothing to do then. But even with all this work, I still manage to squeeze in time with my friends. I go with Nash every day to the hospital, and Allison comes over every once in a while. Life is alright.
I'll manage.