sweet//cameron dallas

"cant you be my new years kiss?"

"Im going to run in real quick and get a couple of cases of beer for us, okay?" Shawn says. I nod, and he kisses my forehead. Shawn and I have been dating for 1 month.
And I hate him.
You may be asking why I still stay with him even though I hate him. That question runs through my mind everyday. It's only because he gets my mind off Cameron. Spending time with a boy I hate, makes me forget. Well, almost. It's pretty hard to forget about him. I tend to spend my weekends downing bottles of beer and whiskey with him, throwing the empty bottles off the roof and watching them shatter on the driveway. Sometimes, I even laugh a little while doing it. It's usually just the alcohol laughing for me. He's grabbed my boobs a couple times during make out sessions in his bedroom, the music playing so loudly you can barely hear yourself think. He keeps his eyes closed when we kiss, but mine stay open. I take that time to look at his room. Thousands of porn catalog cutouts are stuck to his wall and all over the ceiling. There's a special dresser in his room which is where he likes to store his beers and alcohol. There's also another drawer where he keeps weed and cocaine. He's let me had some, and it's terrible. I asked him what his parents though about his room, like if they ever go inside it. He said they don't bother with him.
I watch as he rushes out of the liquor store, smiling when he sees me in the car. He takes a seat, then opens the glove compartment. He pulls out a small bad of cocaine, placing it on his lap.
"I need to stop somewhere real quick. Do you mind?" Mind? Of course I mind. Take me home, you bastard.
"No. I don't mind." I say.
"You're such a good girl." He says. Are you trying to make me horny? It's not working. Kinky shit from you does not make me horny.
"Daddy will be just a second." He says to me, winking, and stepping out of the car. Yuck.
I watch as he looks both ways, then Disappears into the dark alley we were parked in front of. I pull out my phone and call Nash, a reliable source that I could rant to. He picks up.
"Hey." He sounded tired.
"Hey. Can I talk to you about something?"
"Oh dear. What's the matter?"
"I think shawn is dealing drugs." I laugh a bit, and step out of the car. I can hear him laughing on the other end.
"Where are you?"
"Center of town where all those shops are. You think you could pick me up?"
"Sorry, I'm visiting today." He says. I sigh, and kick a rock.
"Fuck. He's coming back." I say, watching him come back empty handed.
"Hey hey hey!" He says, trying to calm me down from my panicky mental state.
"If you need anything, just call Cameron. I know you guys are going through something, but if Shawn's hurting you, he'll kick his ass."
"Yeah, yeah. Gotta go." I say, and hang up. I sit back down in the car and sigh.
"Hey, babe. Why were you outside. He rubs his hand on my inner thigh.
"Oh you know...just needed some fresh air." I smile. He nods and drives off. He pulls into someone's driveway, the house packed with people.
"Where are we?" I ask.
"Just a party. I know how much you love them." He says. He grabs a beer from the back seat, and hands it to me.
"Happy fucking New Year." He says, as I take a sip that was bigger than his. I needed it to get me through his obnoxious conversations. He was the type of guy who was serious about voting for Donald Trump. We walk into the house, and he pulls me through the crowd.
"Jacks over here!" He tells over the music. We approach jack, him sitting on the couch surrounded by a bunch of girls. They were running there hands all over his chest and his arms.
"Hey! You made it!" Jack yells to us.
"This is your party?" I ask.
"Sure is! Follow me." He says.
"I'm gonna go dance for a bit, I'll catch up with you later." Shawn says, and he kisses my cheek. I roll my eyes an follow Hal to the kitchen. I take a seat on one of the bar stools, Reston my chin in the palm of my hand.
"That boys a dick." Jack laughs.
"Why are you dating him again?"
"He has money, and with that money he buys alcohol. And, since I'm his girlfriend, he gives some to me. I've been trying forget...you know who."
"Cameron's here tonight." He says, taking a sip of beer that he had poured in a red solo cup.
"Why?" I take a sip of his drink.
"Maybe for a good god damn time? Damn, Lily. Sometimes you're as dumb as your boyfriend." He scoffs.
"Is it just me, or are you drunk?" I laugh.
"I am very drunk. Like about to pass out drunk." He giggles. He grabs onto my shoulders for support, then puts his lips to my ear.
"He's in the other room. He's with Ruthie Hunters. What a babe." He whispers. I pull away from him, and peek my head into the other room. And Jack was right.
There he was, making out on the couch with Ruthie Hunters. And, she was a "babe". She was gorgeous. Curly blonde hair, and beautiful chestnut eyes. I sit on the bar stool, and watch Jack drink his beer.
"If I were you, I'd start making a move."
"Why?" He looks at his watch.
"It's 11:58." He laughs.
"Can't you be my New Years kiss?" I ask.
"Of course I can." He says.
"Great! We can kiss over there." I point to the couch he was sitting on.
"Trying to make him jealous, huh?"
"A little kiss won't hurt him." I say, sitting him down on the couch. Jacks back was to Ruthie, and I could see Cameron's eyes above his shoulder. They were open. His eyes were open, and he was kissing her. It reminded me of how I kiss shawn. Such little passion. Such little lust.
"10!" Someone shouts. The countdown was starting.
"9!" I take a huge sip of beer, then watch Cameron.
"8!" He was looking at me.
"7!" He smiled a bit at me.
"6!" I push a strand of hair behind my ear.
"5!" He was drunk. I knew how he looked drunk.
"4!" His cheeks turn pink.
"3!" I start to say so,etching, but I stop, knowing he can't hear me.
"2!" He looks at Ruthie.
"1!" I look at Jack, and he smiles at me. He places a hand on my jaw, and kisses me. A little kiss, that meant absolutely nothing. Before I knew it, I was tossed onto the ground. Shawn was hovering over Jack, probably trying to beat him up. He couldn't if he tried. I lay there, on the ground, watching him try to throw punches at Jack. I smile a bit, my eyes slowly closing. I was about to pass out from the little beer in my system. I'm a light weight.
"Your girlfriend doesn't love you!" Jack shouts at him. And that's the last thing I hear before my vision completely goes black.