Oblivious Hearts (Phan)

Chapter Four

Word Count:  1047

Dan closed the front door, feeling breathless and giddy. With his back to the door he slid down and sat on his 'Welcome' mat, a goofy grin spreading across his face. He'd been sat there for less than a minute before his phone went off, buzzing in his pocket.

You have 1 new message(s)

Dan felt butterflies flipping in his throat.

Phil: Are you free this Saturday?

The smile on his face grew even more as he typed out a reply.

Dan: Yeah, from about 4:30 onwards.

Phil replied almost instantaneously.

Phil: Okay, be ready at 5pm. I'll come and pick you up. Wear something nice...

Dan giggled and scrunched his face up with delight. He hadn't been on a date with someone in a few years and he hadn't been intimate with someone in even longer. Despite being excited about seeing Phil again Dan felt a slight wave of anxiety pass over him. He worried that he wouldn't look nice and that Phil would realise how ugly he was and try and back out of the date. What if Phil flirted with the waitress? What if he was actually married and had four children and Dan would just be his bit on the side? What if Dan got a spot before the date?

"For God's sake Dan, chill." He muttered to himself. "If you throw up on him just say sorry and run away. Yeah, you'll have to move house and get another job but that's life..."

Dan dragged himself upstairs into his bedroom, quickly changed into tracksuit bottoms and a baggy tshirt, cleaned his teeth then flopped into bed. He woke up twenty minutes later panicked that he had forgotten to set his alarm, but after double-checking he slipped back into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning he sang to himself whilst getting ready for the last day of work before the weekend, more importantly the last day left before seeing Phil again.

At the school he found himself smiling at nothing in particular, so much so the other teachers started to notice and ask who or what was on his mind. Dan was such a kind and caring man that every teacher liked him and would never make excuses to leave when they found themselves alone with him, however he had not formed any strong friendships with them, they always remained mere acquaintances. It was for this reason that he denied having anyone on his mind and stuck to the story that he'd just had a good night's sleep.

He did have a few good friends outside of work though, one of which he was going to meet that evening for a catch up. Having not been in a relationship or even liked anyone for such a long time Dan was quite looking forward to talking about Phil with a friend. However, the friend he was meeting with always spoke about her problems barely taking a breath and never asking Dan about his own life so he thought he would probably have to wait for another friend to talk about Phil with.

-

"Oh Dan, you just don't understand!" She said. "I really like him and he likes me back but I keep pushing him away and I don't know how to stop myself!"

They were at a local sushi bar that had a special place in Dan's heart. It took a lot of convincing for Erin to agree to come here in the first place, she didn't appreciate food that came into contact with vegetables or wasn't served with a side of chips. Dan had a roll of slightly warm avocado sushi, fresh from the kitchen, between his chop sticks.

"Well, you have to ask yourself why you keep pushing him away." He replied, popping the sushi in his mouth.

"Because I'm afraid of getting hurt." She whined.

"To that my advice would be this." He swallowed the sushi roll. "It is almost inevitable that at the end of a relationship one or both parties end up hurt, that or you both die together happy, which is unlikely, I hate to break it to you. So just know that this won't last forever but also know that in the future you would be happier looking back at the time you'd spent with your partner with the knowledge you put 100% effort in and had a great time together. Making happy memories and sharing experiences that you can look back on with fondness is something you will treasure despite the pain you might feel. That is by far better than being hurt, looking back and thinking you'd had a long and boring relationship that neither of you enjoyed or made an effort with, that was a waste of your time and yet you still ended up hurt. But... You know... That's just my opinion, so..." He finished somewhat limply.

"Yeah maybe, but I just really like him and don't want to get hurt." Erin said. Dan often got the impression she didn't listen to a word he said. She always asked for his advice, sometimes talking over the same situation for five hours, yet she never took the advice he gave on board. He'd recently begun to think she only asked for advice so she could show off how much male interest she was getting, as she would have problems with a different guy every few months. Though Dan couldn't quite wrap his head around why relationship problems and an inability to hold a partner's interest for longer than a couple of months was anything to boast about.

Dan found he could let his imagination roam and think about Phil to his hearts content if he remembered to occasionally agree with Erin about whatever drama she was stressing about and maybe even prompt her with a new topic.

As per usual, Erin hadn't asked Dan about his own life in any way, so he hadn't spoken about Phil. Yet, when he got home and was snuggled up watching Anime on TV he decided that he quite liked the fact that no one else knew about Phil. The date and the captivating man he was to meet tomorrow was his little secret and no one else had to get involved; it was just the two of them.

Okay so Erin and her 'problems' are based off a real friend of mine. I think we probably all have a friend like that. I'm really bad at giving advice but people come back for more? I don't know why... :')

Anyway I really hope you liked this chapter - I'll update again pretty soon.

It's almost Christmas Day! So I hope you all have a wonderful time whatever you decide to celebrate.

Also I have a Christmas Phanfic called 'A Phantastic Christmas' if anyone fancied reading that? It made me feel super festive whilst writing it.

T x