Jay was hurt; Erin was sad. They both were missing each other. But Jay understood why Erin broke up with him. He knew that they couldn't date, being in the same district and all; Erin knew that if she didn't break up with him, someone else would have split them up, move them to different districts, trying to keep them apart. So she had to make a choice. And Jay was okay with it; therefore she would be okay with it too.
Jay and Erin went their sperate ways after work. They had been through a lot. They had been through injuries, physical and mental, and they had been through everything together. And somehow, they knew that this would only make them stronger as a couple than it would harm them. Jay went to Molly's. Erin went home.
"God damn girl, you're sexy as hell." Jay said. Obviously he was drunk, because on a normal day, he wasn't a jerk. His brother Will next to him. Will had been staring at his beer, wondering if he should ask Natalie, his co-worker on a date.
"Thanks, dude. But I'm not interested in drunk idiots tonight..." The woman was disgusted and left the bar. As it turns out, the next day Jay found out that that had been Cruz's (from Chicago Fire) new "friend." They broke up anyways, but Jay was really disappointed in himself.
He, Jay, thought this the whole entire next day, how could I get so drunk. I love Erin. I don't love anyone else. I love Erin. I love me. I love us. I love her. No one else.
The day after that, he then wondered why he understood why Erin broke up with him.
The day after that day he went to work. And just stared at her the whole day. Then they got a new case. And this case hit so close to home. It related to their situation so much then they were starting to realize they....she...he...was acting stupid. They love each other, and if they can't see that, they would never be in love. They knew that love was paved with good intentions. But they always have good intentions and now they are short on questions, yet they don't have any answers.
Erin picked up his pen. Erin gave him that pen, because he had lost his, so she spared one so he could write. The last two days he hadn't written her what he loved about her. So today he decided he'd write three.
1. Erin, you are the light in my world. You teach me things I never knew. There is the time when you are a baby to the road between, and then your old. Then you die. You teach me the road between. And you taught me. No....you've showed me that we will grow old together. So I won't give up on you, because you never give up on anyone. This, well this is just a page in the chapter of a never ending book.
2. We have talked and talked and talked before. And we over thought this thing right out the door. I can't remember why we said goodbye. Why we ever let go. So just come back to me. Kiss me. Let me feel those lips on mine. Let me love you. Because...because we are meant to be. Baby, that sounds good to me.
3. I don't know if you knew this, but I'm going to tell you. When I was little, I always thought that I would never end up with a girl. I never thought I would find love, that I would never get married, that I would never have kids. But when I met you, I knew all of those things that I never thought would happen, could happen. And maybe, no definitely they would happen. I love you Erin. Give me a sign to show you still love me. Kiss me. It can be a kiss on the cheek, but to me it'll be a symbol for something greater one day.
Jay dropped his pen. He pumped his hand because it was numb. Then numbered them off, slipped them onto her desk and headed home. It was dark, and she had already left. So he was going to let her read those the next day. That way he knew he wouldn't be there. He was going on vacation.
The next day Erin got to her desk. She knew he was on vacation and she knew that he wouldn't be back for quite some time. She saw the notes and read them. Then she heard her phone beep. It was a message from Jay. It explained how he'd be back. And how he still loves her. And how she is funny and knows how to make him laugh. In the text he told her that she always cheers him up. And then she called him. He didn't answer, so she left a voicemail.
"Hey, so I got your letters. Jay. I wish I could explain to you all I'm feeling but I can't. I do think we belong together. So when you get back I'd love to talk this over, I lov---" the beep sounded signaling the end of the voicemail. She pressed send then put her phone away. All Erin thought the rest of his vacation was, I love you Jay. I wish I got to tell you that...
