Diamonds For Dinner.

Chapter 17

After the lyrics were planned out and everything was set. I got a call from Clarie telling me to come to the studio, to finally bring the song to life.
It had been a few days since I saw James, whenever I would call, the excuse would be the same, he was busy working for the new movie and whenever he would call, I would be at the studio.
I recorded the song later that day, I remember seeing James and Clarie standing in front of the glass that separated me and them. They were beaming for a few moments they would look at each other and smile even more radiant and look at me and smile again.
I wasn't surprised of their happiness, after all, they had been waiting for me to record the song for ages and there was another feeling seeing James smile like that - It all seemed worth it, when I would enter the studio, show him the lyrics I'd plan to sing, he would plant light kisses on my face, his expression would be a surprise and then delight and then a smile which wouldn't disappear for as long as I stood in front of him.
It was worth it.
It was late June when I recorded the song, a few days passed when the song was in its final stages of being released. I would come to the studio to keep a check on everything and make sure it would be going smooth, it then one day when I walked in to the studio, my jaw dropped at what I saw.
It was Clarie and James kissing, they were so caught up in the moment they never noticed me standing with heavy tears, I didn't wanted to show them I was weak, I blinked to hold back the tears and used my hands to wipe off whatever would roll down my cheeks. I turned around and walked out of the studio. As I sat in my car, my phone ringed and it was James, after a few calls I received a text.

James: Lana, I've been at the studio since 12. When will you come? We're all here, waiting. Today your song will get released at 6 and you're still not here to hear the final product. At least pick up my calls.
I wanted to smash my phone against the brick wall I drove past, it was never worth it, was all that was in my mind. I knew something was happening between them yet I was so blind to never notice it.
Love is blind.
But I made up my mind, now was the time, I had been through this before and this time I was stronger, whenever the tears would arrive I would hold them back and never let my cheek feel wet from my sadness, so I turned the car around and drove to the studio. They both never knew that I saw and I wanted to find out why.
Why would you do this to me, James?
I walked in the studio and went to the toilets, where I washed my face and refreshed my lipstick, leaving no trace of heartbreak on my face.
"Where have you been? We've been waiting all day here" James said as I walked to where the crew stood. "I had some errands to attend" I blurted. "Okay guys now, shh! I'm playing the song" Clarie yelled standing near the speakers.
The song started paying.
It was a good melody, I was quite proud of it but I silently knew, it would be a taste of my bitter memory one day. I still stood there like an absolute statue, showing no emotion of sadness nor happiness. My expressions were blank.
"Do you like it, love?" James asked
"Of course" I answered
"We should celebrate the release with a posh dinner" Claire suggested.
"I can't go today guys, I have some errands to attend later as well" James blurted out
"Well then, Landla, what do you think?" Clarie asked raising her eyebrow.
"I think we both can go, I'm free this evening, we can go together if everyone else is busy" I wanted to know why.
"Excellent" she exclaimed sporting a thin smile.
James left the studio earlier than me or Clarie, before leaving he planted a light kiss on my forehead as Clarie stood there watching us.
How do you let a man love another woman knowingly? I asked myself or Is it that, you do know that he doesn't love another except you. He's just pretending but why would he pretend.
Why.

*

I left my house at 7 to meet Clarie for dinner at lè gŕand hotel. It was one of the most expensive hotels in the area but the money wasn't the issue on my head, there was something else.
I wore a black dress with black tights and black shoes, my dressing in some way, signaled my grieving state to me.
I drove to the hotel in silence, upon arriving I saw her sitting and waiting for me. As she noticed, a thin smile formed on her lips, one she had reserved for me which would only appear on her face when I would.
"Hello"
"Hello Clarie" I said as I settled in front of her.
"Congratulations on your new song"
"Thank you. What brought you here?" I tried to copy her thin smile but I was no match with her, for someone who had been practicing for years.
"What do you mean?" she asked
"You hate me, I know. You love James, I know. Why would you agree to dine with a woman he is dating?" I asked with a smirk, the most fake I had ever sported.
"Who told you this?" She asked, her tone raising.
"My eyes"
"You're just the reward for my patience" Her eyes filled with victory.
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" I asked
"Landla, I was the only woman James ever loved. You were just an attractive woman he thought would be the cure for heartache. I want to thank you - thank you for making me realize I am in love and thank you for making James realize the same. You really brought us together. He was going to break up with you sooner but I stopped him" Her words had no mercy on me. They showered on me like the rain drops had been replaced with stones.
"Then why didn't he break up sooner?" I muttered
"You see, I never wanted you to know neither did James but now that you know half the story, I don't see any harm in telling you the other half" she paused then continued "James had a major movie project and asked me to be the director on it, without a second wasted, I said yes. I knew it was the perfect excuse to get close to James. I suggested to James to use you for the theme song of the movie because of your fame, now look at the headlines! We're on the front page every other day because of you! James should thank me for the idea" she explained so proudly of her achievements.
"I was used for my fame, that is why he pretending to be with me?" I grasped
"Of course, I want to thank you for so many changes you've brought in my life" she said smiling
I stood up from the seat in anger, I wanted to slap her so hard. She stood up with me "Heading to someplace else? Why? The best food is here" She said in a teasing tone with a fake smile.
It was then I couldn't stand her presence anymore. Her face left me in disgust and I raised my hand with all my anger and gave her a well-aimed slap on her left cheek, one that I had been dreaming of ever since I met her.
I could see grasps and people looking at me but I felt no shame.
That night if there was anyone left to feel shame it would be James and Clarie.
As Clarie stood in surprise as to what had just happened, I turned around and stormed out the hotel.
The one feeling I felt after getting betrayed for my love was sadness when Brad did it but this time there was anger.
With James it was different but I was glad it was all over before I feel deeper in love because with Brad I felt deeper in love in two years. James was for 6 months and for me it was a long time. Every time a wave of sadness would come to me I would wave it goodbye - And that was the problem, I wondered as I sat on the wooden Victorian style seat in my backyard. I had everything I could seek, to want more would be pity for what I was the only thing I wanted was to find true love, which seemed to be the only thing I could never have - The issue with that was that whenever I would find someone I would think of as true love, he would never think of me as a human, always as something you could use easily. Having everything was a dream to many, even my own dream before I auditioned for the contract but now it was different - I wanted to go back to where I was. There was no money nor fame but there was happiness and a feeling that I never witnessed until now. To have something everybody wants, they all want it as quickly as possible, I was their way of reaching their goals. I longed for the day where I could be the medium for someone to find true love.