It's been 3 weeks since the accident and I'm still in the same room laying in the same bed in the same stupid hospital gown. I'm healed up pretty good right now so I can do many things on my own like going to the bathroom. My ribs are still sore but they are not broken and most of my cuts and bruises are gone but my leg is still broken.
That thing is broken in four places. It's gonna take a while for that to heal up.
Zach is in the mental hospital right now doing more test and going through more therapy. He's been in there for 2 weeks now and he should be getting out soon. I haven't really talked to him since that day I found out he had schizophrenia.
I feel like a terrible person but I mean I couldn't go visit him since I'm stuck in the hospital and he couldn't visit me because he's also stuck in the hospital. He can't use his phone in there so we can't FaceTime or text or call or anything social media related.
Right now I'm just laying here staring at the ceiling feeling even more miserable than before.
The doctor thinks I'm going into depression but when I tell him I'm find he just shakes his head and walks away.
Truth is I'm not fine.
The doctor's right.
I am depressed.
I refuse to eat anything.
I'm shutting everyone out.
I won't talk to anyone.
I've had so many thoughts about just ending it and by it I mean life.
I just can't take it anymore. This place is making me go insane.
"Ms. Melancon? Someone's here to see you." The nurse said poking her head into my room. I nodded and she let the person walk in.
It was Zach.
I put on a smile and scooted over for him to sit. He pulled something from behind his back and it was a small stuffed tiger and Starbucks.
"Oh my god. Do you know how long it's been since I've had this?!" I asked taking it from him and taking a sip of it. "Mhmm thank you so much." I said wrapping my arms around him.
"Hah you're welcome. I know you've been going insane in here so I though why not bring you something to calm you down a bit?"
It was silent for a moment but it wasn't awkward. Well yeah. Maybe just a little. Yeah it was a little awkward.
"So how did everything go?" I asked putting down my drink and turning towards him.
"Well they said I'm doing better but I don't agree. I've been having terrible nightmares now. Like I'm scared to sleep. I haven't slept in two days."
"Did you ever get them before?"
"No. They just started."
"What are they about?" I looked up at him and he looked down at me.
"Most of them are about you." He said sadly. I frowned and looked down.
"Can you tell me one?" He looked like he was about to cry so I grabbed his hand and squeezed it to calm him down.
"Umm last night at the hospital I had one. They are mostly about you dying and me trying to save you but either I'm too late or I can't move and I just stand there watching you die. The one I had last night was about the accident. I was going so fast trying to get to you to save you but it was too late. You got hit and I was going as fast as I couldn't but it's like you were going farther and farther away from me. When you got hit and I reached you you were still breathing so I kept yelling for someone to come but no one was there. You said you loved me then your eyes rolled back and you died right in my arms. I continued to scream but no one." He paused and took a deep breath.
