Love and Consequences.

Chapter 20

I finally built up the courage to exit the toilets, and standing there, was my mum. Her eyes looked at me, glassy and fragile. I knew she knew. I fell into her arms, and collapsed against the wall. She held me in her arms, and didn’t say anything for minutes. 

I cried into her shoulder, and she comforted me. She then lifted my head up, in the grasp of her hands and said: “Hey, everything’s going to be fine.” 

“No it’s not. She doesn’t remember me, mum.” I cried, collapsing into her lap. 

“Justin, you don’t know that for sure. Maybe she’s just in a state. She’s just woken up, give her some time.” 

“But what if she is. What if she doesn’t ever remember me. What am I supposed to do then? Am I just supposed to move on. I can’t do that mum. She’s my fiancee’.” 

“Wait..You proposed to her?” 

“Yes.” 

“Wow.” 

“Mum, I want her to remember me” my voice cracked and we didn’t speak after that. She stoked my hair back and forth, and tried relaxing me. The last thing I remember was mum’s voice saying: “Everything will be fine.” 

I woke up to long shakes, and I couldn’t understand where I was at first. But as my hands placed on the cold floor, I regained memory of what had happened and my heart ached again. I shivered, at the thought. 

“Justin, the doctor had more information.” Mum said, lifting herself up. 

I immediately rose to my feet, and searched impatiently for the doctor. He sat in the corner facing Diane. 

“Justin,” Diane spoke, signaling me to sit next to her. 

She rose to her feet, and I hugged her tightly. 

“I’m so sorry” she whispered. After that, I knew I didn’t have to hear the doctor say the ugly truth itself. I knew he’d been right from the start. I had no where to turn to now, so what was I to do? 

Kenny, tugged me away from Diane and the doctor. 

“Justin, I’ll drive you home.” 

“No. I want to spend sometime by myself. Can you drive home with mum, and I’ll take the car.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive” I said flatly, as he handed me the keys. 

I stormed out the building, and I could hear mum call out to me, but I didn’t look back. I couldn’t. I just stormed out into the pool of cameras, and pushed my way, to the black volvo. 

I sped up as I reached the highway. I didn’t like the idea of driving, because I knew I wasn’t in the right state of mind to do it. But I needed to drive away. 

My mind was racing, and I didn’t want to think about it. I didn’t want to think of anything. I’d rather Emily be asleep, than not remember me. This was bullshit. I couldn’t bare it. I was so weak, I could feel my body trembling already. 

I turned on the radio, to try and forget, already knowing it was impossible. 

“Breaking news, Justin Bieber was seen exiting the hospital in California, single. What could this mean? We’ll keep you updated..” I switched it off, steaming. 

I banged my fists on the steering wheel. I hated this. I turned onto the next cut off, to turn around to go home. I needed to sleep. 

I finally I arrived back at Emily’s uncles house, although it felt weird being there without her. I made my way up the stairs quickly, and then collapsed on the bed out of exhaustion.