Engaged [z.m.]

Chapter 37: Okay

C H A P T E R T H I R T Y - S E V E N

Perrie

Zayn was still fast asleep when I entangled myself from him the following morning, careful not to wake him up.

Last night was fresh in my mind. Last night didn't feel normal as if it was all a dream. A distant memory perhaps.

Last night I had seen Zayn in one of his most vulnerable states. I wondered how he gotten to the point where he had stumbled to the bathroom only to vomit his guts out. His face was visibly pale this morning as if he were still sick.

The answer to my question came when I entered the living room only to spot two dirty glassess and a bottle of vodka lying in front of them. I sighed picking them up to return them to the kitchen. I washed the glassess thourouguly throwing away the ciggarette bud thay floated in the little amount of liquid thay Zayn had spared the glass.

I pushed the vodka in the alchohol cabinet and rested the glasses on the counter top in order for them to dry out before I could push them back into their cabinet.

Why was he drinking so much? I always spotted numerous dirty glasses filled with different types of alcholic drinks on a daily basis. He was certainly starting to pay visits to the bar that he had secluded for so long.

I couldn't help but think this was because of me. Our weak and breaking relationship that had caused him to start a habit of drinking regularly, a habit which he had always despised.

My thoughts returned to last night. Would last night change anything? It was beautiful. It was honest and true in every way, for the first time in months one of us wasn't faking or lying. Everything we exchanged was genuine.

As much as I wanted things to return to normal, even I knew that our relationship could not be mended and stitched up by just one night if vulnerability. It required something much stronger and I wondered what that was.

But despite the fact that last night couldn't fix everything, did it play a role in elevating our current position? Was it the first step of the ladder? Was it the first attempt towards returning things to normal?

Did it change anything?

I felt pathetic for hanging onto to every little thing which hinted that it could potentially fix this horrid mess we had turned everything into.

I went back into our bedroom. Zayn's back was facing me as he faced my side of the bed, hugging a pillow tightly against his torso.

Does he think that's me? I smiled at that innocent assumption. I walked over to him and watched him for a few second before leaning down and placing a soft kiss just under his ear.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face. I changed out of last night's clothes into a dark blue dress and a white cardigan.

Zayn wasn't in the room when I exit the walk in closet where I had changed. The bed was made instead of being the mess that it always was as Zayn never bothered to make since he woke up after I did.

I scanned the room for him but he wasn't there. I walked over to the bathroom and found that he was in there since it was tightly locked.

I remebered that I hadn't turned the coffee machine on. I rushed into the kitchen to turn it on and made myself some tea. I took both mugs and went back into the bedroom.

Zayn still wasn't out. I placed his coffee mug on the side table and took a slow sip out of mine. Suddenly, I heard the door to the bathroom open and out stepped Zayn; a towel hung low tied around his hips and his body glistened due to the water on him.