Engaged [z.m.]

Chapter 43: Outcome

C H A P T E R   F O R T Y - T H R E E 

Zayn

I had spent so much time listing out the possible outcomes of my life. From what I would end up doing in the next ten years in which One Direction would eventually have either completely deteriorated or be on the path to. I had imagined where I would live. Perhaps I could move to LA like I had always wished to, to escape cold-hearted and gloomy London altogether. I envisioned myself perhaps making more music, different than anything we had produced as a band.

I had assumed myself in many situations that followed me after every other point in my life.

One thing that not only occurred to me nor would I have been capable of being able to ponder upon was if Perrie would be with me.

When a person becomes as included, as entwined with your life as Perrie was with mine; you disregard the question of whether they will be with you or not when you envision your life because you without even recognition are so certain they're going to be there. Perrie wasn't a part of my life, she was a part of me. You can't go anywhere without a part of yourself. It's humanly impossible.

Perhaps I had made that possible.

My closet was now empty of all of Perrie's multicolored dresses and blouses. Her shoes weren't neatly stacked anymore either.

The room was still in the catastrophic state in which I had left it.

The bookcase was stripped off every single one of Perrie's books. The bathroom had none of Perrie's products neatly lined together. Her numerous belongings weren't scattered around the house anymore.

It was becoming a habit or perhaps it already was to run away from the house whenever something like this happened and to spend the evening smoking my lungs out. Then retreating to the flat searching for Perrie to find her there every single time, tossing in bed trying to sleep, pacing in front of the door or sitting in the living room waiting for me to return.

Somehow, despite expecting her in one of those states, when I returned today; I knew she wouldn't be there.

And she wasn't.

She hadn't left a trace of herself in the flat. She had utilized every single hour I wasn't home quite effectively to pack up everything that could potentially remind me of her and left the flat that we had learned to call our own over the past few months.

She was gone. For good.

I shuffled through every single room in the flat, hoping to find a piece of her somewhere hidden within these rooms however she truly had done a good job at leaving no trace of her.

I entered our own bedroom and studied the room. The mess I had created was something I was regretting right now. I had cracked most of the furniture beyond repair and the room was in condition to even have one night spent in it.

And right next to the leg of our bed lay a shiny, silvery material. I walked over the kneeled down to inspect it.

A chain. A silver chain. Very similar to the one in which Perrie had kept her ring laced around her neck.

I slid down onto the floor and rested my back against the bed.

I had never felt more lost in my entire life.

A tear leaked from my eye before I could even give recognition to the fact that I wanted to cry out so badly. I harshly rubbed it away and took a deep breath.

I had always been good at not crying in all sorts of situations. As a child, my mother used to proudly showcase me and bring me along everywhere because I rarely ever created a hassle by crying and that was a habit I carried forth even to today.