I was restless as I waited for Brian to return. The minutes flew by but the hours seemed to drag. I wandered around the house aimlessly until Oli dragged me upstairs and forced me to take a nap, promising to wake me the second Brian arrived.
As it happened, I was sat on the porch getting some fresh air, and peace from Murray and Sal arguing when Brian pulled up on the drive. The second he saw me, he slammed the car into park and flew out the door. Within seconds, his arms were wrapped tight around me and he was kissing every inch of my face fervently.
"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry," he muttered over and over again. I closed my eyes, soaking in the fact that he was back but not forgetting everything that I had felt for the last few days.
Pushing him off me gently, I went and sat on the porch swing, gesturing for him to sit beside me. I took a deep breath and held his hand. I couldn't look him in eye as I spoke, so I watched as he rubbed his thumb gently across the back of my hand. Every time I tried to speak, the words stuck in my throat. What I had to say to Brian was going to change everything and I had no idea how he would react. I was scared, terrified to be completely honest.
I sighed as I heard Sal and Oli laughing just on the other side of the wall. Did I want to potentially ruin Christmas for everyone? Could I deal with the war raging in my head for a couple more days for the sake of my friends...my family? I squeezed Brian's hand and gave him a small smile.
"I'm just glad you're back." I nodded inside. "Come on, best get this over with." If the situation had been different I would have laughed at the look on Brian's face. "Suck it up dude, you deserve every ounce of shit you get from your friends. And don't even get me started on Olivia." I chuckled.
"As long as I've got you beside me, I can get through it all." Brian wrapped his arms round my shoulder and squeezed me tight, not noticing the nervous pause before I laughed humourlessly. "Come on, let's do this."
The silence as we walked into the house was deafening. As I looked at my friends faces, they showed an array of different emotions. From anger on Olivia's face, to elation on Murray and Sal's. When I looked at Joe, his face was a mixture of worry and sadness. I shook my head slightly at him and smiled, he quickly regained composure and became the loud, hilarious Joey we all loved again.
I had to hand it to Brian. He took Oli's rage without comment or complaint. He knew he deserved it. While they were engrossed, I pulled Joe out into the hallway and closed the door behind me. "I couldn't do it. Not yet. I don't want to ruin Christmas for everyone. I'll wait til after."
Joe sighed and shook his head. "Why do you assume it's going to go badly? He might surprise you."
I almost snorted. "Really Joey? Is that what you really think after the last few days?"
Joe pushed me lightly. "Shae you forget how long I've known him for. He's been a dick recently but he's got a good heart. Don't underestimate him."
I shrugged. "I guess. We'll just have to wait and see."
We both turned at the sound of the door opening. "What are you two old maids whispering about our here?" Oli smiled.
I glanced a Joey. "None of your business." He teased. "Are you done?"
Oli nodded. "Quinn is suitably chastised and would like to speak to you, Murray and Sal." Oli told Joe.
I said I would grab them from the kitchen, and turned and jogged down the hall. After they left the room, I sat down at the table, Oli beside. "How you doing?" She asked.
I shrugged. "I'm happy he's back. Obviously. But I don't know. What if he's like this once the baby is here? I know we haven't discussed what's gonna happen but if he wants nothing to do with us, how am I going to do this alone?"
Oli grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight. "You would never be doing it alone, you silly girl. I will always be here. And regardless of what Q decides to do, there isn't a chance in hell that the rest of those goons won't keep in touch and help out when they can."
I chuckled slightly at the thought of Joe, Murr and Sal helping with the baby and was struck with the image of Joey and Chandler from Friends attempting to look after Ben. "Oh god no Oli. That can never happen!"
By the time the guys returned to the kitchen, Oli and I were laughing so hard we were crying. It felt good to laugh, it seemed like I hadn't smiled properly in a long time. Brian grabbed my hand and pulled me out of my seat. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close. "It won't happen again, I swear." He muttered into my hair as he kissed the top of my head. I rested my head on his chest and as I listened to his strong, steady heartbeat the only words that came to mind were "we'll see."
