Jay Mcguiness My Angel | Jaythan Au

Chapter 9

Jay

I'm so conflicted in what to do. I love Lauren yet I love Nathan also. Yes I'm bi for those that haven't caught on yet, I really don't know what to do; I think it was Johnny depp that said if you love two people at once then you should chose the second one because if you was in love with the first person you would never have fell in love with the second. Which means If I truly loved Lauren then I wouldn't of fell in love with Nathan. My best friend.

So I guess I should really go with Nathan and leave Lauren, but I can't, I love Lauren I just can't throw it all away I mean we've had such good times together. Yet I've had such good times with Nathan. Why does this have to be so difficult it shouldn't be this much of a hard decision. 

I decided to sleep on it and see if when I woke I had some ideas when I woke up as to what to do. I climbed in bed and lay above the duvet as it was like 26 degrees outside right now, and trust me that's hot for the summer in the england apparently it's the hottest summer we've had in 30 years.

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When I had awoken it didn't give me the answer like I had expected it to, but it had given me a headache and feeling slightly disorientated. I stayed sat on the bed until I had stopped feeling a little dizzy and I got up.

 I was still confused as to who to choose. I was pacing in my room, trying to decipher which would be the best option for me, I had counted 237 steps and I had began to get dizzy and I was no closer as to who I should choose. I couldn't ask my mum, because she hasn't met either of them and it would be awkward and embarrassing talking to my mum about my own love life. 

I had come to a descion as to what I was going to do and I hoped it will work.

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 - Thursday -

I had decided that I was going to spend less time with Lauren today; and more time with Nathan. Lauren wasn't in school today so that helps, I wouldn't have to make up an excuse as to why I was ignoring her, It's not that I didn't like her. I do but I just need to see whose company I like best and this was the only conclusion I came to and it did seem as if it would work.

We had science then english, which was good becuase Nath was in both of those lessons and I could speak to him then and not wait until break. When form had finished, I was glad to get out so I could escape having to listen to my tutor's voice any longer.

I walked as fast as I could, tripping over in the process but at least I got there in one piece. I walked into the classroom and Imediatley spotted Nathan sat at our usual seat and I walked over to him trying to focous on not falling over which proved to be difficult because thoughts of Nathan clouding my mind.

I sat down next to him and offered him a warm smile, he smiled back but it wasn't one of those happy smiles he usually has. I wonder why he is upset, but I'm to afraid to ask just in case it could be something that he doesn't want to talk about. I get my science book and pen out of my bag and I start writing the date down. 

We was half way through the lesson and neither of us had uttered a word, we were just sat in silence; and awkward silence. We didn't know what to say and Nath still looked upset and I didn't question it. I thought I may as well start a conversation now as we had 25 minutes left and we don't have that much work to be doing. 

"So, how have you been, I haven't spoken to you in a while, how have you been?" His head snapped up, his mouth opened to say something but he closed it and he just shrugged. 

I tried speaking to him, again and again but he either just shrugged or didn't do anything at all and continued looking at his book as If I wasn't here. I sighed, so much for making connversation.

"C'mon Nath, you can talk. I'm still your best friend, Yeah I may have been acting like a dick and ignoring all of you and spending so much time with Lauren, but I'm still the same person. I'm still me, Jay Mcguiness. Please Nathan speak to me" He didn't answer, as I expected. He just sat there writing in his book, completely ignoring me. I decided he wasn't going to speak to me so I turned in my seat and I thought I might as well finish off the set task we had to complete for the end of the lesson. 

"Yeah you're right. You are a dick, first of all you lie to your best friend about Lauren, saying that you was just friends and then you come along and introduce her as your girlfriend and start eating her face right in front of us. To be honest, I thought you was my best friend, I guess not as best friends don't lie to each other" The bell had rang just after Nath's speech. Nathan grabbed his books, his blazer sleeve slid down and then he left. 

I saw them. 

I saw his scars.

It upset me to think that Nathan was doing this to himself. So I set myself a mission, a mission to find out why Nath has those scars and also to make sure he never does this again. EVER. It was going to be challenging. I knew that but what Is life without a little challenge. 

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A/N: I'm very sorry for not updating on monday like I said, but I didn't finish the chapter in time for the upload, but better late than never. I will try and update as frequent as I can I finish for summer next week so I should update faster. 

Next Update: Monday