Jay Mcguiness My Angel | Jaythan Au

Chapter 11

It's been two weeks since the arguments, making it a month from when I first joined this school. The boys haven't forgiven him properly but they decided - after a lot of persuading from a certain someone, i.e me - that it would just be water under the bridge although I can see that they are still a little irked with him.

Jay and Lauren are still going strong, sadly, but on the bright side they aren't snogging in font of us anymore which is good. I can eat my food without feeling like I was going to vomit. It was Friday and Max and Tom were planning on throwing another party, they were currently arguing as to where it was going to be held. To be honest I wasn't really bothered about this party, usually I am, I always like to let loose once in a while. The reason I wasn't really bothered about going is that, I know for sure that Jay and Lauren will be there and I don't think I could stand seeing the kiss any longer, it's like they are rubbing it in my face that I can't and never will be with Jay. Max and Tom had finally decided that the party was going to be held at Tom's house because Noreen and Lewis aren't going to be in.

'Great' I thought, I guess I was going to have to be at this party even though I didn't want to go, I could stay in my room but that would make me seem like a prude and also I don't think I could sleep over the loud noise of the music and drunk teenagers.

As Jay said on my first day at this school, people don't generally like us that much but when we throw a party, they love us until the party is over.

--------------------

- The Next Day -

It was 4 in the afternoon and they were already setting the house up for the party. They had pushed the sofas to the side, they had all the alcohol in the mini fridges that are in the living room also I was really tired, I didn't have a good sleep last night because I had another nightmare, it was the same one that I have every night, but like the last time it was more vivid and detailed than every other night.

I decided to take a walk, the fresh air would do me good. I told Tom that I was going out for a walk and I grabbed a jacket before walking out as it was quite breezy outside. I walked with no idea as to where I wanted to go, I just went wherever my feet took me. I ended up in a park, it was a tranquil park, not very big but big enough. It had a little play area for kids, with two sets of swings, a slide and a climbing frame, that was rotten and looked like it would just collapse at the slightest touch but it still stayed up even with four kids on it.

I laughed to myself, I always end up in the park when I go on my walks. I walked over to a bench that had a boy with curly hair - much like Jay's - with his head down, looking at the ground sadly. I decided that I would go and sit next to him and cheer him up. When I got closer to the boy, I realised that it was actually Jay.

"Jay, what's wrong?" I asked, putting my hand on his shoulder as I sat down next to him. He sighed and turned to look at me sadly, tears welled up in his blue eyes.

"Well, there's something I need to ask you. It was...something I saw the other day" he said slowly, I frowned what could he have seen that has made him get into the state he is now.

"Go on" I encouraged, genuinely interested in what he saw that he is really upset about.

"It was after you told me what you though a-about me ignoring you all and also lying to you about Lauren. I saw your scars Nathan, why? Why Nath, why would you do something like this to yourself?" I gasped, oh god. He saw them. He saw the scars, that he wasn't meant to see; no one is meant to see them. He is going to think I'm a freak, he is going to tell everyone at school and no one will ever speak to a freak like me, not even Tom.

"You wouldn't understand" I snapped, I folded my arms with a frown still etched on my face and out of the corner of my eye I saw him flinch.

"Then make me understand, please Nathan. I care about you, so much and I don't want you to do this to yourself. Please, tell me why you do this to yourself. I'm here Nathan for you I'll always will be" I felt a tear run down my cheek but I quickly wiped it away, crying is a sign of weakness.

'So is cutting' my conscience told me.

"I cut because I deserve it" I told him honestly, and I did deserve it. I should of been the one in that fire, I should of tried harder to try and save my mum and sister, I didn't even try to get out of my room I just stayed in there listening to both of them screaming and not doing anything about it.

"I never told you why I came here, did I?" Although it was a rhetorical question, he answered anyway stating that in fact I hadn't told him or even Seev or Max as to why I moved from gloucester to London.

"It was a house fire" I began, looking straight ahead I didn't want to make eye contact with him because I'm sure that I will never finish my story looking into his cerulean eyes.

"Me, my mum and sister were involved in it. I was the only one that survived it, it was my fault they died I should of saved them. I should of called the fire brigade earlier or I should of gone out of my room and helped them not just stand there like a blithering idiot. Also cutting makes me sane, it's the only that keeps me kind of normal" by now tears started streaming down my face.

Be a man Nathan, not a little cry baby.

Jay pulled me into a hug, my head tucked under his chin as I cried into his shirt. He softly sang me a song, which I'm guessing is called I'll be your strength as it was repeated many of times and it was in the chorus. He had an amazing voice, much better than mine. After a while I had stopped crying, but I still sat there with Jay's hands wrapped around me, rubbing my back now and again. After all that crying I had become kind of tired, I yawned a couple of times and jay chuckled.

"I see someone's tired" he said, pulling away from the embrace we had just previously shared much to my dismay. I nodded and smiled slightly, his infectious smile grew bigger if that was even possible. His eyes held a sparkle in them like they always had when he smiled. Oh his eyes, I could spend all day talking about how wonderfully his eyes are but that would be awkward as I would never say right infringing of him how much I adore his eyes that would just be weird and kind of creepy.

He stood up and held out his hand. I looked from his hand to his face and then back again before I grabbed it and pulled myself up from the cold hard bench. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach again. No not butterflies they were girlie and I'm not a girl, I guess I could feel the moths in my stomach again. Yeah the moths, going crazy and I felt I had an electric shock sent up my nerves in my right hand that was currently in Jay's left hand.

"C'mon I'll take you back to my house so can sleep, I'm tired too. How about we don't go to the party and just stay at my house. I'm sure Tom wouldn't mind and also we will have the house to ourselves till about three am because my parents won't be back until then. What do you think about that?" He asked looking down at me and smiling. I nodded, I couldn't form any words. We were going to be in the house alone for quite some time god knows what the hell is going to happen.

Calm down Nathan it's not like you're going to have sex with each other.

"Great, come on then let's go" we walked back to Jay's house, hand in hand occasionally commenting about something or other that has happened in school in the past week.

--------------------------------

When we got to Jay's house he let go of my hand so he could open the door, I frowned at the loss of contact but I smiled again when he gestured for me to walk into the house first like a gentlemen would to a lady. I jokingly curtsied and I walked in. I heard his booming laugh and I couldn't help but join in with him.

He asked me if I wanted any food or drink which I replied with saying that all I wanted was to go to sleep. He nodded and led me upstairs into his room.

" I'm tired too, do you mind if we share this bed? As we don't really have the spare room guest friendly 'cause it has just a load of junk in it" I shook my head, of course I wouldn't mind sharing a bed with Jay what person wouldn't mind? No one, exactly. He turned around and he stripped down into his boxers before climbing into his bed. I looked like a bit of a plonker stood there still in my clothes starring where jay was once stood. I blushed a crimson red before I quickly got undressed, still in my boxers I climbed into Jay's bed. I closed my eyes as I lay on my side, with my back to Jay and before I fell asleep I felt Jay wrap his arm around my waist and mumble something like 'I love you Nathan' and then I fell into a deep slumber.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: I updated on time yay! So this chapter contained a lot of Jaythan and so will the next chapter. I want to say they will eventually get together but I don't want to rush it, I hope you all like it nonetheless. Again I want to thank you all for all the reads, votes and comments. I didn't expect this kind of response so quickly and I'm thankful that you all like it.

Next update: Sunday/Monday.