Raised by Canines {A Harry Potter fanfiction}

19. Decisions

By the time they had gotten back to Remus' cottage, Harry had found his will to fight once more. With a sudden burst of energy, Harry pushed hard at Sirius, gave the man a good kick in the side, and tumbled to the floor, stopping only momentarily as he realized how much pain he himself had just inflicted on his rear end.

Harry took off in the direction of the door he wasn't supposed to open and, deciding that no matter what he did he wasn't going to get to stay here anyway, threw it wide open and ran down the stairs. Taking the steps two at a time and tumbling down the last few, Harry felt himself going into panic mode.

He'd just kicked Sirius.

Vernon had tortured him for less.

Quickly, the young wizard crouched behind a rather beat up old couch and wrapped his arms around his legs, letting his chin rest on his knees. He sniffled a bit, not really sure of what he wanted at this point.

"Puppy?" Sirius called out, voice strained. "Baby, please come out."

Uncle Padfoot didn't sound angry. In fact, he sounded hurt. Very hurt, and Harry had been the one to put that hurt there. Summoning up all the courage he had, the four year old hesitantly stood up and made his way over to his uncle, head bowed.

"Harry, look at me." When Harry didn't budge, Sirius crouched down and lifted Harry's chin with his finger, his face stern. "I know you are upset, but I know you know better than to kick me and run from me."

"I'm sorry, Uncle Padfoot." Sirius' breath hitched--the boy looked absolutely pitiful and seeing the expression on a face so much like the one of his late best friend caught him off guard. "Please don't send me away yet."

"Send you away? Harry, I would never send you away!" Sirius frowned; what all had that boggart told Harry? "You're my baby. Remember what that means? What you and Uncle Moony talked about?"

Harry slowly nodded. "But what about Uncle Moony?"

"What about Uncle Moony?"

"I'm not his baby anymore." Harry sniffed. "He's havin' another one."

There it was.

"Harry, honey, just because he's having another baby doesn't mean you're not his baby anymore. He's not going to love you any less than he does now." He sighed and reached forward, engulfing his son in a hug. "I wish I could take away all the hurt you're feeling right now, but I can't. I just need you to know that we love you more than anything; you have to believe that."

Harry stood stock still in Sirius' grip, curling his hands into fists and making his decision. He was not going to let himself be deceived again; he was going to be the deceiver. An unfamiliar and, quite frankly, a nasty rage settled over him and a storm brewed in his body as he wrapped his arms around his Godfather, trying to steady the sudden rush of emotions he'd just experienced so that his magic wouldn't do more than flicker the lights like it was doing right now.

"I love you, too."

Something about the way that Harry had said that made Sirius shiver. The man stood up, picking Harry up as he did. "I think it's time for a nap, don't you?"

The boy nodded, resting his head on his Godfather's shoulder. He would need his rest--he'd be planning his escape tonight instead of sleeping. He relaxed a little as Sirius began to rub circles on his back, nearly melting at the touch. He craved this, craved touch so badly and Sirius and Remus both gave it so freely.

They don't want you. A voice in the back of his head chided. Quit letting them get to your head.

He stiffened once more; he had to get out of here before he got attached again.