Growing Pains

Chapter Twelve: Moves and Counter Moves

Finn huffed in annoyance, willing himself to listen to the conversation around him. It was a different group of people than usual, mainly to avoid suspicion from his dad. The boy currently yakking was Cliff, a curly-haired boy who didn't seem to understand the concept of silence. The teen was currently explaining the conceptual difference between moths and butterflies. Ugh... Helga seemed interested enough, sitting beside him, considering who her father was.

There was definitely a space between them on the bench. Who knew a mere two inches could feel so distant and cold? Just a few hours ago they'd been closer than usual, in the physical sense. But now it seemed there was a gap between them, and not only where the bench was concerned.

Finn sighed heavily behind his hand. He'd screwed up for sure. He knew he was being ridiculous in some ways, but most of the time he truly believed he had a right to his attitude. Did he have any right to forcefully make out with her because he was upset over a conversation with a completely different person? His heart lurched. Of course he didn't. Did he have a right to get upset when his girlfriend wanted him to spill every one of his deep dark secrets? Heck yes.

Right?

Stealing a quick glance, he noticed Helga definitely ignoring him. Her shoulders angled just away from him, nodding and smiling at Cliff as he talked, her eyes trained on him completely. He didn't necessarily feel jealousy toward the other teen for his girlfriend's attention, per se. He did, but not because he felt competition. Cliff knew his position—he'd be squashed like a bug if he crossed the line. The fact that he was allowing the curly-haired boy to sit at the same table was generous enough.

At the same time, Finn felt bad. He'd hurt Helga's feelings one way or another. The look of fear that she'd given him just before leaving the barn... He couldn't get it out of his head. Did he scare her? He'd lashed out at her, perhaps that was it. She didn't seem to be afraid of him any other time. She hadn't told him to stop kissing her, and he'd like to think he would stop if she asked. He hoped.

The thought made his stomach churn and he stared down at the floor, swallowing the bile in his throat. If Helga asked him to stop, would he? She was tough and tenacious in ways that he honestly admired. He didn't have any intentions of hurting her in any way. He hadn't thought about it at all! But when the road started to get bumpy, she was the one he turned to. Not for advice. Not to talk or get help in any way.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He was using her. When he had some problem that upset him, Helga was there to make him feel strong again. But this was an angle of strength he hadn't thought of before. He hadn't realized just how out of line he was. He didn't want to abuse her. That's not what he wanted.

But that's exactly what he was doing.

Finn's face flushed and he immediately rubbed his forehead. Hopefully nobody was noticing his sudden embarrassment and horror for his own actions. Suddenly he wanted to drag her out of the room, but for a completely different reason. For the first time, he wanted to apologize for something. He didn't want her to be afraid of him; he didn't want to be an abusive jerk that objectified women because he couldn't handle his own problems. The problems were a completely different issue. He wasn't going soft; he wouldn't be changing the whole lot. But he didn't want to screw up Helga. Literally.

Before Finn could make his move, his attention was drawn elsewhere. The Great Hall doors slammed open and two guards rushed in, scanning the room as quickly as they could. Finn frowned, watching as they found the chief and bounded over. From the council's table, Hiccup saw them coming and stiffened in his seat, waiting patiently for them to reach him. Finn watched with piqued interest as a guard grabbed Hiccup's shoulder and urgently whispered something in his ear. His dad's face morphed from confusion into concern in a matter of seconds.