Growing Pains

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Heiress

It was a fitful night. Sleep eluded the Haddock boy as images stemmed his vision. The smell of blood choked him, the sight of Benen and Erick howling in agony sending waves of panic through his system. His father's final words rang out through the darkness.

I don't want to hear it. Get out of my sight.

Sharp pain emitted from his stomach and he jerked. Finn vaguely heard a female voice talking to him, something about "holding still", but the words were lost as he rolled over and slipped back into unconsciousness.

Thankfully, he slipped into less than terrifying sleep. In the dreams that followed, Finn could see Benen walking ahead of him in an endless maze of darkened hallways. Benen seemed to be holding out a hand, calling to him, beckoning his little boy to hurry. But no matter how fast Finn ran, his old friend always managed to make a sharp turn and disappear down a hall just as he extended his hand.

"You must be strong," Benen called, holding out a hand.

"I'm trying!" Finn panted, sprinting.

"Patience," Benen said, turning down a hall. "All good things come to those who wait."

For hours, Finn watched the dream unfold. Countless encouragements from Benen to "be strong" and "patient" and "kind" bombarded him, but Benen himself eluded him. Just when Finn thought he might crumple to the smoky floor and cry, he felt a shift in the ground beneath him and he jolted awake.

Finn sharply inhaled, staring around the dim room. His clammy skin felt chilled against the morning air. The blankets pooled around his waist and if not for his utter confusion, he might have pulled them up to his neck and gone back to sleep.

He caught sight of a small bureau next to the bed with jewelry, paper and a quill scattered across the top. He didn't remember seeing this before, but a quick glance at the floor below saw a heap of familiar clothing that sent his heart shooting up his throat.

Raine.

Oh gods.

Finn dropped his head into the pillow, guilt building in his stomach like water filling a jar. His heart constricted and he swallowed the bile rising in his throat. He'd almost given up his virginity last night. He'd been completely, unabashedly willing to go through with it, start to finish. If he hadn't noticed the look on Raine's face, he probably would have done it too.

How could he have been so stupid? How could he have allowed himself to indulge in a fantasy so primal, so selfish and lucid, that he'd give up the very thing he could never get back again?

Finn slowly exhaled. He and Raine had to talk about this. He felt something with her for sure, his feelings weren't entirely misplaced. She was smart and kind; she was a good companion to have when his world was turned to rot. But they had to talk about everything. She was right about one thing: he wasn't ready for intimacy. He simply wasn't in a right position, let alone his age.

Add that to the list of things his father would kill him for (if he found out).

"Morning." A melodic voice said from the foot of the bed.

Finn turned his head and tried for a smile. Raine looked down at him with a warm, knowing smile. "So you nearly strangled me last night."

Finn felt heat rise to his face. He shifted to an elbow, scratching his head. "Um... Did I hurt you?"

Raine blinked. "Oh. No, no, not that. You were thrashing in your sleep, I mean. I had to elbow you to get you off," she giggled.

"Oh." Finn vaguely remembered a sharp pain in his stomach that woke him for a split second during the night. "Sorry."