Growing Pains

Chapter Twenty: A Friendly Face

Finn stared down at his hands. His heart was pounding in his ears. He could see his hands clasping and unclasping in a nervous gesture he couldn't seem to control. Finally he looked up.

"Well... aren't you going to say something?" he asked in a nervous tone.

Raine was staring at him with an odd expression. It wasn't disgust, which was, Finn supposed, a good thing. Her fingers were steepled in front of her mouth as she contemplated the boy's words a little bit longer. Raine seemed to be the sort to think things through before speaking, which was certainly not something Finn did often.

"So all that happened," she said slowly, "and you're here instead of trying to make amends?"

Finn felt his chest tighten with guilt. "I figured my dad would kick me out. I wanted to save him the trouble."

"Hmm..." Raine hummed as she considered his words some more. Finally she put her hands down on the table. "What are you hoping to accomplish with this time away?"

"Um..." Finn cleared his throat to buy more time but he couldn't think of anything to say. What was he going to do now? "I thought maybe I could find a new place to live. I have experience as a blacksmith."

"I'm sure you'd do fine." Raine shrugged. "But there has to be a bigger picture. You were the heir. Technically you still are. That creates a bit of a problem back home. Do they make your sister the heiress or wait for you to come back? You can't just disappear."

"This really is better for everyone." Finn insisted. "I mean did you hear what I did?"

"I heard you." Raine nodded, extending her hand in a placating gesture. "What you did was horrible and completely inexcusable. But it's not unforgivable."

"Because of me, Erick could die." Finn said emphatically. "He might never walk again, even if he survives. And, for that matter, I have no idea if he is alive anymore. For all I know, they're sending his pyre out to sea as we speak!"

"I don't think so." Raine said after a few seconds. "If he was stable yesterday, I'd be hesitant to assume anything at this point. But that's not even what I wanted to talk about."

"Well you know I'm sorry for everything." Finn put his head down again. "I can't ask for forgiveness. I've destroyed my own life."

"I don't think so." Raine said calmly. "Finn, your father does love you. If you've convinced me of anything, it's that. He adores you. He wants to do what's best for you and sometimes that's tough love."

"He told me to leave."

"He was in a highly stressful and emotional situation, Finn." Raine reminded him. "Everyone reacts differently in those kinds of situations."

"Regardless, Berk is better off without me." Finn mumbled.

"No. Berk needs you." Raine smiled when Finn looked up at her. "I remember this one time Stoick came for some kind of meeting. I was about six or seven but I remember listening to him talk about you and your parents and your sister with this big grin on his face like you all were his life. I thought that I wished I had a grandparent who talked about me like that. But when he talked about you, how you had all the potential to be a great chief in a few decades, he was very serious. He said you and your dad were strong leaders and that he wasn't at all worried about Berk's future." Finn felt like crying again at the mention of his grandfather but he held his tears back. "I thought that you must be a pretty special little kid for him to think so highly of you."

"You remember that? After all these years?" Finn asked, suddenly enthralled.

"I have a great memory." Raine winked at him. "But in all seriousness, it's never too late to change, Fearless Finn. We all mess up, some more than others. But you have the potential to be great. I know you do. And I want you to make amends. I think that distance is good but while you're here... well, think about it. Let this be a breath of fresh air, you know?"