Growing Pains

Chapter Nineteen: Disconnected

Late that night, Hiccup pushed the front door open to his house, dragging his feet. The wind blowing in from the coast nearly blew the door off the hinges, but he held onto it tightly. Toothless walked in sluggishly behind him and immediately curled up on his large stone bed in the corner of the living room. After closing the door behind him, Hiccup hung up his coat and looked up to see Astrid creeping down the stairs in warm pajama pants and one of his shirts. The sight should have made him smile, but he could only stand and watch with a weary expression.

"Are you okay?" Astrid asked, pulling him into a hug.

"Hmmm..." He sighed, burying his face in her shoulder as he held her to his chest. "Exhausted."

"Erick?"

"He's still out. Mara's going to keep an eye on him tonight. Hopefully... hopefully he'll wake up soon."

Astrid nodded against his chest. "I tried to wash your vest. I'm not sure if I can get it back to its former glory."

Hiccup shrugged. "It's just a vest."

The conversation was light, but the tension was high. They both avoided the topic that seemed to fill their minds. But they couldn't avoid it forever. No matter how tired he was, he had to face the problems ahead. It couldn't wait.

Finally, the chief sighed. "Where are the kids?"

Astrid stepped back, brushing her bangs out of her face. "Adri's upstairs. I don't know if she's still awake."

"And Finn?"

His wife remained silent, staring at the floor with unblinking eyes.

Hiccup frowned. "Astrid?"

Astrid straightened her shoulders, donning a firm expression. Hiccup didn't know what that meant; she was good at hiding nervous expressions, but he knew by the wringing of her hands that whatever she was about to say couldn't bode well.

"He's gone."

Hiccup blinked, sure he'd heard wrong. The words played over in his mind again and again, but he couldn't seem to understand. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and tried again. "What?"

Astrid swallowed. "Hiccup, he left on Thornado after the operation."

His world tipped upside down. Gone? A world without Finn? Hiccup backed up a few steps. "No."

Astrid stepped after him, her hands held out in a placating gesture. "Hiccup, I know this isn't what you expected but he needs this."

"Where did he go?" Hiccup demanded, suddenly very much alert. Toothless sat up from his bed. "Did he say?"

"No. Hiccup, stop," Astrid pushed the door closed when he opened it a crack. "This was his choice."

"There's a storm coming, Astrid! I wouldn't let anyone fly through that, but our son? Why would you let him go?" Hiccup asked, his eyes wide. "How could you do that?"

"He'll find somewhere to land; he's smart. Hiccup, he needs to figure things out. He needs to step away and you need the-"

"The what?" Hiccup cut her off, desperation lacing his voice. "The stress of not knowing where my son is? The anxiety of knowing that anything could happen to him out there and we'd never know?"

Astrid exhaled slowly. "Hiccup. Finn is confused about a lot of things right now. He's angry at himself and he's remorseful at everything he's done. Truly, he is. But he felt it best that he take a step back for a time. He didn't want you to worry about him while Erick is in trouble."

Hiccup clapped his hands over his face, shaking his head. "I told him to leave..." He whimpered, voice laced in anguish. "I didn't want him to leave Berk!"