Growing Pains

Chapter Twenty-Three: Back to the Source

Finn had been the tiniest bit terrified to return to Maero. He wasn't sure if he'd be subject to flashbacks like his sister at the sights and sounds of the most dreadful place he'd ever been. He felt his stomach churning when it came into sight, so much that he had to lie down just after he touched down to alleviate the nausea. Once he felt better, he spent a few minutes setting up camp before collapsing into the tent and falling asleep instantly.

The next morning, he awoke to the sun shining through the opening at the front of his makeshift tent. For the first time in a very long while, he didn't feel like getting up. He was usually a morning person and the very idea of sleeping until the sun was high enough to beam down at him so brightly had once been abhorrent. Now he felt like rolling over and going back to sleep. Unfortunately, he also needed to go to the outhouse so he figured that was as good a reason as any to get up.

When he had gone through his morning routine, minus breakfast lest the nausea return, he set out for the source of his problems.

Finn knew this path. It was a bit surprising, even to him, that his memory was as sharp as it was considering the last time he had been there was 8 years ago. His body felt stiff, his stomach churning with a mixture of anger and fear. He was literally walking directly into his nightmares but this time, he wouldn't back down.

The stones on the path were sharp, he could feel them through his boot. He remembered his feet bleeding after the long trek to the house. The second night, Benen had brought him some water so that he could wash them. The man hadn't spoken but it was a gesture of kindness he hadn't forgotten. Now that he thought about it, it had probably been extremely risky to attempt to sneak water from the well without Ratri noticing. Even after Benen had died, Finn still found new reasons to love and respect him.

As the house finally came into view, the Haddock boy felt another wave of nausea. Weeds covered the walls and the garden was in shambles but beyond that, there was no difference between the house as it was now and the house he had left. Finn looked for signs of more slaves but apparently Ratri had given up on the idea. Or perhaps he could no longer afford them.

Finn's strides became more difficult the closer the house became. It was so much smaller than he remembered. Perhaps this was because he was so much smaller at age 7. Or because his dreams made it seem like an impenetrable, cavernous prison. Either way, it hardly looked like the setting of hundreds of nightmares. In fact, it hardly looked like anyone lived there.

His eyes traveled to the tiny building out back where he and Benen had slept. Almost of their own accord, he walked up to it and lifted a trembling hand to push it open. Two mats still remained. Finn remembered curling up on his and forcing back tears until he fell asleep. He had to bend down now to even enter the room because the roof was several inches too low. There were dusty boxes piled on top of the mats, like Ratri had started using this as a storage room. Clearly no one had lived here for quite some time. Finn sincerely hoped it had been deserted for the full 8 years but, knowing Ratri, he couldn't be sure.

He crouched down next to Benen's mat. A tiny indentation still remained in the middle, where his best friend had slept. Finn got on his knees and traced the faint outline with his finger. His heart ached with grief at the realization that Benen had slept there for years. This flat, uncomfortable mat that had made Finn's back sore had been the most comfortable object in his friend's possession.

Something on the wall caught his eye as he looked up at the boxes. Just next to the mat where Benen had slept, words were carved into the wooden wall. Finn had to crouch down low to see them through the strips of sunlight shining through the wooden beams. He squinted at the faded letters, worn by years of rain and snow seeping through the small building. One name finally jumped out to him.