This Wasted Time On You Has Left Me Shaking And Waiting

Big Me

Summer and finals started to come around the corner and I could honesty not give a single fuck about looks anymore. Except my hair. I always do my hair. I gave up on the tight jeans and shirts and went back to my normal way of dressing. The pink in my hair finally faded plus I dyed over it. No more fake "cool" Alex.  No more annoying girls hitting on me and Rian wasn't really mad at me anymore.

When I was cool Alex I was able to hang out with all of Jack's friends and no one called me Gayskarth. They were even more of jerks when you got to know them to be honest.

God I was so happy to be back. I entered school that day and the stares were off the charts. Everyone looked at me as if I had never attended the school before. I just shrugged it off and headed to my home room. I felt more relaxed and mellow rather than the hyped up nervous wreck I used to be. Maybe it was the alcohol. Jacks "little" parties he held when his parents were out of town put so much alcohol in my system it isnt even funny.

I started to laugh to myself when I thought of the first party of his I had gone to. It was only a few weeks after I had changed my look and I was still a little shy. 

When I entered his house I was automatically dazed and confused. (oooo Led Zeppelin pun) I thought I had gone deaf for a second, the music was so loud. It was so crowded. Slowly I "exuse me"d through the crowd until I had reached the kitchen where Jack greeted me. "Ah Alex!" He "bro hugged" me and handed me a red cup with a mysterious drink in it. I had never really had alcohol before. I finished off my mom's wine when she wasnt looking once.  If you couldn't tell I wasn't much of a risk taker.

Jack and his friends stared at me while I just held the cup. I took a sip of it and smiled an artificial smile. They cheered and chugged their drinks. "I'll be back.., I uh.., I need to piss" I ran through the crowd and to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me I leaned over the toilet and vomited. Beer doesn't even taste good. How people drink so much of it I dont know. 

I dumped the rest of the contents in the sink and walked back to the kitchen. Well to make a long story short I didn't drink at all that night. Every time Jack poured me a drink I furtively poured it down the sink or "accidentally" left it on the table for someone else to drink. I'm pretty sure Jack didn't know the difference at that point. He got wasted every time and it was almost a pain dragging him up to his bedroom and getting him glasses of water and holding his hair back in the morning. But that was Jack. Being the early riser I am I would wake up around 8:30 and lay there and just think of all the memories we or I have of this room. And to think Jack doesn't remember any of it.

The homeroom bell rang and I came back to reality. We have a sub today thank god. She was nervous and jittery. She reminded me of myself. On the outside I was this relaxed guy who did whatever he liked but on the inside I was still a coward. I would never fight anyone or sky dive. That is scary shit. I hide when my mom yells at me for gods sake. Shows how cool I am huh?

(Hahaha hey guys. Wow pls vote if you want to kill me bc I take 9 years to update. Oops. Okay well enjoy this short chapter. Adios bros)