For the future, or for the past.
He was my life. I don't care how much he blew me away, I will always try to find a way to be in his life. Because my life depended on him staying and because I'm just so obsessed with him. I don't even know what the hell I'm saying right now. I just know that I will always care for him and I will always love him. No matter how many guys I'm gonna date or be in a relationship with in the future, it'll always be him. He made me this way, he changed me, he took away my happiness and still, I loved him. Call me a masochist or whatever the hell you want and I still wouldn't care. I will and always will be in love with him, I don't care about the pain it'll cost. In fact, I'm already in love with the pain that's gonna hurt me for years from now. I'm just a silly teenage girl in love, or at least I thought I was in love. And what do I know about love? Nothing, not a single clue. But if I am to guess, it must be something so sweet it makes the sugar loses it's sweetness; so deep unlike the ocean; and yet so beautiful just like every human being in this world. But sometimes it's something so painful it makes you hard to breathe. Just like when you hurt your knees or stubbed your toes when you were a kid, you cried you hearts out and hoped it wouldn't be this painful, because for a kid, that's very painful. Or when your mother was mad at you for the very first time and you want to cry and hoped she'd not be so angry the next time you see her. And that's how I imagined being in love was, feeling everything all at once.
YOU ARE READING
Hearts Out
Şiira book where my heart pours its feelings and where my mind writes its thoughts. A/N: I titled every part that I've published with a date because it'll always help me remind myself when I had those feelings or thoughts.
