what if.....?(girlxgirl)

four letter word

Yani

I kiss her and my entire body warms. I pull away and those warm eyes make my heart beat skip and speed up. Holy shit. I have never felt that before.Her eyes have a shine that shots through them. Did she feel it too? Why does she look scared? I stop questioning when I hear Carmen yawn. She crawls up on the couch with us. Not long after she is sleep. I stroke her curls and smile.

"you fell in love with her too huh?" Zoey asks.

"Yeah how could I not she is beautiful inside and out just like her mom" I say smiling at Zoey. She kisses me and wraps her arms around me.

"Ima take Carmen to her room" I says.

"okay" she says.

Zoey

I lay on the couch and try to make sense of what just happen. Did I just fall for her? What was that feeling? Why did her eyes warm up? Why did she feel so right when I knew this was so wrong? Isn't that word suppose yo happen after years? Its been a few weeks should I feel like this. I feel a touch and I knew it was Yani because electricity shot through me. she sits on my back since I was laying on my stomach. I turn my head to look at her.

" Really sitting on my back" I say.

"Yes" she says and kisses the back of my neck after moving my hair.

"That felt good" I say.

"Now tell me bout your childhood and why is was bad....well if you feel comfortable telling me because if your not I understand fully but- " she babbles. I turn around to kiss her.

"yeah I will tell you " I say and she looks at me.

"I'm listening" she says.

"Well uhm my mom was a single mother my dad was M.I.A since I was born. So I refer to him as my sperm donor. My mother was a prostitute and had a alcohol addiction I saw my mother fully sober once in my life that was when I was 7 but she was cold and distant when she was sober. but when she was drunk she was and is a heartless bitch who cared about herself more than her 4 kids. My oldest brother got locked up when I was young so I don't remember him much. My sister was the good girl and the one my mom cherished. she was the princess and straight one I was the tomboy and gay one my mom was homophobic as hell the night she found I was lesbian me and her got into a fist fight. My brother Ryan broke us up my sister was crying. Me and her never got along and clashed a lot we still do. She got strung out on heroin when she went to 12th grade I guess it was her escape I mean we all needed one. My sister became a stripper to feed her habit when she was 17. My brother Ryan was the only father figure I had. He took care of me from day one my mom started drinking right after I was old enough to drink milk out a bottle. Uhm my mom attracted fucked up men and they used her. So all in all my childhood ended early."I explain. I left out details to my childhood because they still haunt me and I don't want pity.

"Damn baby I'm sorry I didn't know you had it that rough did you ever see you sister use drugs"

"Pretty much every night my mom had no problem fucking guys in front of me either" I say blankly.

Yani

"Pretty much every night my mom had no problem fucking guys on front of me either" she says and her eyes go icy again. I kiss her and make sure she doesn't pull away. She doesn't reject it. I press my tongue against her lips. I didn't want to give her pity because I know she didn't want it. I was sad that anyone had to go through that. No one should have to see the world before it was time for them to. She moans in my lips. I pull away because my heart beat starts beating so fast that I can hear it. Damn the affect she had on me.