Just A Little Different

Chapter 25

My throat tightened when Ben's green eyes met mine, filled to the brim with tears. "I've made my decision." He looked from me to his mom and back again. "I've been arguing with myself about this for the past few days, and I know what's about to come. I'm sorry." He looked dropped his gaze, brought his hands to his eyes to wipe away the tears, took a shuddering breath. "I'm so sorry. I don't want either of you to be mad or upset, but I know it'll happen no matter what I say. I...I love it here. All of my friends are here, I've lived here for basically my whole life...but I've always been with my mom and...I'm staying with her."

I froze. I didn't know whether to scream or cry. He can't leave! I tried to say something, but i found myself choked up, speechless. I watched as his mom stood up and hugged him. He hugged her back, but his eyes were on me, the one who hadn't said a word, hadn't moved a muscle. I didn't know if he could read my emotions, but I did know I would burst into tears if I tried to speak again. I just watched them in a frozen silence. Eventually, she let go and he whispered, "Give us a few minutes alone, please." She nodded and glanced at me sympathetically.

When she left the room, Ben sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his chest. "I know you're upset, Ian." His voice shook. "It's okay to let it out." I wished he hadn't said that, because as soon as he did, I choked out a loud sob. My hand grasped his shirt tightly as I cried, as if it was the only thing keeping me alive at that moment, as if I would die if I let go. I felt warm tears on my neck and his grip on me tighten, as though he felt the same way.

After a while, I lifted my head to look up at him. He stared back at me and I felt the world melt away. It was a feeling that I got every time I looked into his eyes. The world would disappear and I would be stuck in his eyes, even if I didn't want to be. "Ben, I...I can't let you go...I thought I could handle it but...you have to stay."

"Ian, I...I can't."

"Why not?!"

He took a deep breath and wiped away his tears. "Ian, this is just something you have to understand. I may seem like an independent person, but I am far from being independent. I am not ready to leave her side yet. I depend on her as you depend on me."

My heart sank as I realized he was right. His mom was the one who had been there for him his whole life, and they were not ready to let each other go. "So then..." I lowered my voice and looked away. "...what happens to me...to us?"

He was quiet for a while. I couldn't look at him again because I didn't want to make him feel any more guilty than he probably already did. "You're going to stay with Ambrew and Adam. As for us...we can talk to each other every single day if you want to, for as long as you want. We still have Skype, and we can still play Minecraft together. I promise, I will come back for you when I'm ready to be out on my own, but for now, I'm not ready." He cupped my face in his hands and gave a sad smile. "I love you, Ian. That will never change." I felt my heart trying to escape my chest as he leaned in. I relaxed as his soft lips pressed against my own, and the sadness only grew. When he pulled away, I almost wished he hadn't. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes. "You will always be my best friend, my one and only," he whispered.

I nodded sadly. "You...you promise you'll return?"

"Cross my heart."

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Our suitcases sat by the door. I still couldn't believe Ben was leaving. Adam had come over to pick me up since Ambrew was working until the evening. I wasn't ready to leave the house I had called home for over a year. I wasn't ready to leave without Ben. He walked to the door to be with me and Adam while his mom tied a few loose ends together.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist, his forehead against mine.

"I'll miss you too. I don't know what I'll do without you here." I snaked my arms around his neck and closed my eyes, praying that this wouldn't be happening when they opened. I felt a tear slide down my face and he brought a hand to my face and wiped it away with his thumb.

"You'll be okay." When I opened my eyes, he had a smile on his face. "I promise, I will come back, and you'll be the first person I want to see."

I smiled back weakly. "I hope that will be soon."

"Hey," Adam tapped my shoulder. He had a sympathetic look on his face. "I really do hate to break this up, but I have to be home soon. I'm waiting on the electrician."

"Right." He had warned me about that before. I turned back to Ben. "I...I guess this is it. Get some rest when you get there, and call me on Skype when you can, okay?"

He nodded. "I will." I leaned in and kissed him gently, not wanting to let go, not wanting to pull away from him, but I knew our time was up for now. The last thing he said to me before Adam and I left was, "I love you Ian. I always will. I'll miss you...until we meet again."