NY, NY | phan

1.7

I slammed the door behind me and locked it. I walked to the bathroom and closed the door. Tears started to stream down my face as I rested my forehead against the cool surface; my hand clutched the the doorknob.

I don't know why I let myself feel this way. I read into that dream and thought he liked me. He friend zoned me many times during lunch, which I stupidly thought was a date. His father thought it was more because I was acting giddy, obviously. He probably did this with everyone, I wasn't special.

But do friends grab each other's hands like that? Do they pay for their expensive lunches and tell them that they are cute? Doesn't it even matter if he does this to other people? I should just enjoy his company

I gasped as my breath hitched. This always happened to me. I was always friend zoned, no one liked me, no one cared that I was lonely or that I cry myself to sleep some nights.

I stripped and started a playlist before getting into the shower. After my hair and body was clean, I slowly sat down and let the warm water run over my pathetic self. My knees were pulled to my chest, and my face was facing the ceiling. The water pelted my face as it started to turn cold. I turned the knob off as my mom started to ring.

Fuck, it's Louise.

I grabbed the phone after drying my hands and put it up to my ear.

"Hey," I said, wrapping a towel around my waist. "You're still coming over right?"

"Dan, I'm already here. I've been standing outside your door for fifteen minutes," she huffed, an obvious annoyance in her voice.

"I'm sorry I was in the shower, just give me a minute to get dressed," I said, hanging up. I got out and pulled a white tee over my head and putting on some black sweats.

My apartment was a mess. I sighed as I scurried around, picking up trash and dirty laundry. I opened the door with a smile.

"Finally," she groaned, sitting a bottle of wine and bag full of stuff. "I brought some movies and a bunch of snacks."

"Ice cream and wine?" I asked, looking through the hoard of break up supples.

"You didn't sound very happy the last time we talked and every time you avoid me, something big has happened. I just assumed that something was wrong, didn't want to be unprepared. I brought a case of beer too."

"Oh, Louise. I'm sorry for being mean," I said, embracing her. "I shouldn't blow off my best friend."

"It's okay, Dan," she said grabbing two spoons and the food, walking over to couch. She opened the container of ice cream as I plopped down beside her. "Spill."

"I thought you wanted to play Mario Kart." She shook her head as I grabbed a spoon.

"This is more important." She licked the melting ice cream from her spoon and looked at me. "Do you want some wine?" I nodded and she stood up and walked to kitchen, grabbing a couple of wine glasses. "What happened?" She sat down while pouring me a glass. I stared down at it as she poured herself a glass.

"It's stupid," I muttered.

"No, Dan. Your feelings are not stupid," she protested.

"I met someone, but I don't think they have the same intentions as I do and I'm too shy to make a move. Besides, I don't think I'm the only one..."

"Is the uh, guy from the date?" I nodded and brought the glass to my mouth. "I didn't know you were..."

"Gay?" I said with a disappointed chuckle. "Yeah, me neither."

"That's fine, you know," she said. "I still love you."

"I know," I sighed. "I just feel stupid. He was so intense when I first met him, he was scary even. He got so close to me..."

"Where did you meet him?"

"W-work. He's uh my boss."

"Daniel!" she exclaimed.

"He called me cute, Louise. He said he wanted to take me out on dates and wanted to go on walks together."

"Dan... I don't know if you should fall for this one."

"You're right," I said, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. "He's not even interested in me."

"It sounds like he is, but should you really be encouraging this romance?"

"Do you not want be to be happy, Louise?"

"No, Dan! I want you be happy more than anything in the world, but this just sounds bad."

"Could we listen to some music?" I asked , changing the subject.

"Of course. I have an awesome playlist." [a/n totally #spon] Your Love by the Outfield started playing and we started to dance. As the lyrics raced through my mind, I connected them to Phil. I shook those thoughts away as a knock on the door caused me to stand still again.

"Who the hell?" I groaned. I turned down the music and went to the door. "What the fu-" There standing in my doorframe was Phil with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

V UNEDITED

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Comment: pizza fries if you're still here

Also, I made a playlist! It's the first part of this book, check it out. Some bomb music for you guys and to make it even better, I've already made a playlist. Just follow me on Spotify. (details in playlist)

Word count: 964