[REWRITING] Help Me So I Can Rise Again (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 5 - It's Not Okay

Would it be weird if I'd dedicate this chapter so someone who don't know about me, but I love her story? Yes? Okay. 

Anyway, I have no idea what I'm gonna say about this chapter, so just enjoy and read this.

Enjoy! ♥ : )

BUT TOMORROW IS MY BIRTHDAY OH YEAH !!

FOOOD

xx

I keep ripping my diary. Every single page. I just keep ripping. 

I don't wanna see this ever again. EVER. 

This fucking book ruined my life. 

Okay, it was Harry who ruined my life, but still! Without this book, everything would be cool and great and stuff. Now I've probably lost Jessica too. 

No. 

I lost all my friends, I lost my girlfriend. I lost Jessica. I lost everything. 

All those walls I've build to myself are broken now. 

I'm just a little gay, fag who no one will ever love. 

One thing just keep running in my thoughts. 

Harry apologized. Why in the god sakes he would do that? It couldn't be Harry? It was Harry, I know it. No one else have done anything to me, so it had to be Harry. 

I take every piece of paper of my diary and I throw them to trashcan. 

I have no idea how I'm gonna go to school tomorrow. Everyone will laugh at me and call me fag. Some people might even think that they can beat the gay out of me. 

No. What I'm gonna do?

What?

Okay, first step. I'll talk to Harry. 

Only he can undo this and save me from bullying. 

At least I think so. 

-Harry POV - 

Shit. Shit shit shit. 

Sorry. 

I'm in auditorium waiting for Louis to show up. What if he don't show up?

Gosh, what if he committed suicide because of me? I've heard that many fags, I mean gays, do that when someone kick them out of the closet. 

No, no, no. 

He can't do that. Wait, what? I don't care. I don't care about him. He's just a little gay fag. 

Then door opens and I let a sigh of relief. It's Louis. 

"Hey, Louis" I say, but he just ignores me and slowly sits few seats away from me. 

"Louis, are you going to talk to me?" I ask. 

He shake his head and opens his book. Wait, that's not his book. That's different. He have a new book. Wow I'm sherlock. 

"You have a new book" I say, but he ignores me again. "Louis, C'mon, I'm sorry. I regret that I did what I did"

"You seriously 'regret' it? Shut up! You're not sorry! You hate me, remember? I'm just a worthless little fag!" he finally says and I look at him shocked. 

"You're not worthless" I say. 

"Yes, I am. You hate me, so stop saying things you don't mean" he says and I can see tears in his eyes. "I just wanted to help you, because you are dying. I only wanted to help but then you did this. I lost everything. I lost my friends, and I lost my girlfriend. It's all your fault!"

"Well you didn't even love your girlfriend!" I say back. "It was good for you"

"No, it wasn't good for me. She was the only one who loved me. Now no one does, and never will. L-let's just talk about this project" he says and his eyes gets watery.

I say nothing for while but then I open my mouth. "We still need another song"

"Mean by Taylor Swift" Louis says immediately. 

"Wow, this is payback by Louis Tomlinson, right?" I say. "I know I did wrong. I know it and I'm sorry"

"No, you're not sorry, don't even try to make me buy that. You're just so fucking selfish, and you only think about your own ass!" he says and looks at me angrily.

"If I'm selfish, why I've been fucking thinking about you all night so much that I couldn't sleep all night?" I say so quickly that I didn't even mean to say it. 

Oops..

Shit.. Shit, shit...

I didn't mean it, right?

"Umm, what?" he asks. 

"Forget it" I mumble as I turn to look at my hands blushing.

I see little smirk on Louis' face, but I decide to just simply ignore it. 

"You know, even though you totally ruined my life, you still are in some way, really cute" he says and laughs.

"So you like me?" I ask.

Wait, what? What the Hell?

Why I asked that?

Oh god, I'm stupid..

"What? Hell no! I don't like you, but I don't hate you tho, because there have to be something what makes you bully other people" Louis says and smiles.

Oh he actually have a cute smile to be honest. 

But I'm straight, okay?

"Shut up.." I mumble to him.

We start to look for the notes but then I realize something. 

I actually want to be with this boy. I mean, like friends. I look at him and then I see his wrist. 

"Do you cut?" I split out. 

Shit. 

"W-What?" he asks and panic flashes in his eyes.

"I just.. I see you have new cuts in your wrists. That's all, I'm sorry" I say and I feel that I blush. 

"Oh.. Can we please not talk about this?" he asks. 

"Yeah, okay" I say. 

"If, IF, we'll be friends someday, we can talk about this, but I don't wanna talk about this to someone, who's almost stranger to me" he says.

"Do you think that we could be friends?" I ask quietly. 

"You sound like you'd want to be friends" he says chuckling and rolls his eyes. 

We stay quiet as we stare at each other for a few minutes. 

"Louis..." I say.

"Yeah?"

"D-Do you think that you really could help me with my problems?" I suddenly ask and I see happines flashing in his eyes.

"Yeah, if you give me a chance" Louis says face completely emotionless. 

"Can we see this weekend?"

"Yes, Harry, of course"

"Thank you" I say and I smile.

Finally I can have someone.

Finally.

xx

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