[REWRITING] Help Me So I Can Rise Again (Larry Stylinson)

Chapter 23 -You & I

there will be self harming in this chapter so sorry. you've been warned

I'm sorry that this is short but I really wanted to update... stay fab and vote and comment.

moo.

I'm a cow.

moo.

*Louis POV*

It's been week in this camp and I'm in deep shit. I've been texting with Harry whenever I've had a chance but I feel like it's never enough anymore. I love Harry. he's... He's literally my everything but as we're so far away from each other,  I miss my other half. I feel so empty.

And on top off every problem, Noah and Colin are so close to me all the time. No, I don't think that they have a crush on me. I mean that I might have a crush on them. Both of them. I just don't know what to do. I've been trying to tell myself that I just miss Harry and I'll be fine but I'm not so sure... I'm so empty.

I'd lie if I'd say that I'm fine. I feel depressed so much. I'm happy only when I have a chance to be with Colin or Noah but they have other friends too so I can't be with them all the time. Well, they've been asking me to hang out with them but I'm way too shy for that. I'm pretty sure, that their friends would hate me. I'm not good looking, funny or cool. If I'd be cool, I'd have a lot of friends so no.

I go to bathroom since I've started crying again.. I'm so worthless. I don't think that Harry misses me at all. If he wanted me to stay with him, he would''ve told me that and beg me to stay. But did he? No. he basically just told me to go. he's probably fucking some random girl right now.

I grab my razor what I always carry with me. I raise my sleeve so I can see old marks on my wrist. I sigh and I close my eyes. I feel the cold touch on my wrist and I wince in pain. Blood falls from my wrist to the floor. I make another cut. Now literally crying in pain. God, I'm so disgusting. No one will want me like this. I'm nothing. I'm piece of Shit. No one loves me. Harry is just using me.

Because hey, why anyone would want a broken kid?

It's not like anyone could save me anymore. I'm too deep now. literally.

I curse as I take a towel and I press it on my wrist gasping because it burns. it burns so fucking much. But in other hand, it feels so fucking good. It's the only thing that can make other pain just go away.

Then I hear steps. Shit.

"Hey, Louis. Have you seen - oh my god!" Colin shouts as he walks intimately bathroom and sees my wrist and blood falling from towel.

"Erm... Hi, Colin" I say.

I take the towel away biting my lip from screaming. Cuts aren't bleeding anymore. I wash my wrist  and then I dry it.

"Okay man, we are going to talk about this" Colin says still in shock and I shrug.

We walk to my bed and we sit on my bed. he sighs ans looks at me and I notice that he's wearing he's reading glasses.

"Start talking, Tomlinson" he says Wuthering serious face.

"Don't worry. It's not what you think. You know, I just broke my mirror" I try but my voice is already breaking.

"Stop bullshitting me. I know exactly what you were doing and now you're going to tell me why, okay?" he says but I don't answer. He puts his hand on my shoulder. "C'mon you can tell me Louis"

And that's when I brake. "I miss Harry so much that I've started to feel lonely and I feel like I'm so disgusting because he wanted me to come here"

I'm fully sobbing now. Colin sighs and pulls me onto his lap carefully. I cry and I cry keeping my head on his chest as he whispers sweet nonsense on my ear.

"Lou, listen. You're not disgusting. You are perfect and beautiful. You know why Harry wanted you here? Because he loves you and he wants you to have a chance to do what you love. I'm sure that he loves you and misses you too. Don't give up, Lou. Everything is going to be alright. I promise, okay?"

"Okay" I say sniffling.

I feel how he moves a little to leave but I grab his shirt even tighter.

"Stay with me for a while" I whisper and he nods.

We are lying on bed. His arms are strongly around me as he whispers sweet nonsense into my ear again. I try to calm my breathing from crying and I'm pretty sure that I made it nicely.

"If you ever want to talk, I'm here for you, Lou. You're a good friend. I don't want to loose you like this" Colin says softly and I nod.

Then, my phone rings. I sit up and I answer.

"Oh thank god you're okay!" Harry says sighing in relief.

"What are you talking about, Harry?" I ask swallowing.

"We haven't talked in while so I was worried" Harry says.

Colin stands up and mouths me he's going to leave. I nod and then I speak again.

"I'm sorry, Haz. I've just had a busy day, but  fine" I say smiling.

"That's good to hear..." Harry says sniffling.

He's been crying? Because of me? oh...

"Harry, don't worry. Nothing's gonna come between us. I love you and I'd done nothing that'd hurt you" I say.

"Promise me that you and I will last forever and through this dark time when we're not together. Please" Harry begs.

"I promise" I say almost crying.

"I love you, Louis"

"I love you too"

"Forever?"

"Always"