Daddy's Little Girl, Too

Chapter 5: Recollection of Death

Emma tries to steady her breathing as she closes her eyes. She crushes the life from the stuffed pony. Lyla doesn't feel a thing. Nancy continues to stroke Emma's arm gently. "Relax honey."

Dr. Nazari continues, "Emma, try to forget that you are in this office. I want you to imagine you are in a swing at the park. Your mother pushes you and you go up very high... and down, and up, and down. You close your eyes and feel the wind flowing across your face as you go back and forth, back, and forth. The air smells good because there are flowers everywhere in the park. You can hear the birds singing in the trees and the sounds of other kids playing. You feel happy and calm. Up, and down, back, and forth. The sound of the birds and the other kids slowly disappears. It's very quiet now and all you can hear is my voice."

Emma does as she is told and her grip loosens on the pony.

The doctor continues, in as soothing a voice as possible. "Good. Just keep swinging, back, and forth...and while you swing, I want you to concentrate on breathing. As you go up, breathe in and as you go down, breathe out. Up, down, in, out. Keep breathing and swinging." He stops speaking for a moment to watch how Emma is reacting to his words. She appears to be much more relaxed now, so he continues. "I want you to imagine you are breathing in lots of pretty flowers until they fill your whole body up. And as you breathe out, imagine all the bad things are exiting your body, leaving behind only the pretty flowers."

Emma continues to breathe; in with the flowers, out with the bad.

"That's good Emma. I am going to count backwards from five, and when I get to one, you will be completely relaxed, and at peace. Five...Your mind is clearing now, hearing only my voice. Four...You're sinking deeper and deeper into the soft couch. You're perfectly comfortable. It's safe here. Three...It's just you and Lyla, playing happily in a bright green field of grass, with colorful flowers all around you. Two...Now you're lying down in the grass, looking up at the clear blue sky. One." Dr. Nazari pauses a moment. "...Emma? Can you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Good, how do you feel right now?"

"Good."

"Good. I want you to think back a few days, to the day you had the first bad dream...Can you go back to that dream and tell me what you see?"

Emma's face scrunches a little and her breathing quickens.

Dr. Nazari reminds her, "Relax Emma, remember you're safe now. Take your time and tell me what you see."

"I'm in a house. It's dark and dirty. There's a lady. She's staring at me, smiling."

"That's good. Do you know who the lady is?"

"No."

"Okay, what happens now?"

"I tell her to close her eyes. She does. I have a surprise for her. Now, open them. I show her a teddy bear. She tries to take it. That's not the surprise."

Emma's voice cracks, she struggles to get the next part out.

"Breathe Emma. Continue when you're ready."

She takes a few breathes and resumes, "...I stab her...with a knife, in the neck."

The doctor looks to Nancy with concern. "Do you know why you stab her Emma?"

Emma shakes her head, "There's a man. He's telling me what to do."

"Do you know who the man is?"

"No."

"What does he say to you?"

"He's saying, 'pull the knife out'...I don't want to, but I can't stop... there's blood everywhere... the walls, the floor... the lady is dead." Emma starts to whimper a little. "I didn't want to kill her."