Running With Wolves

Chapter 10

I was shocked to see my father at home, on a holographic image. 

It was him walking around all sad, with a tear-stained face. He was walking around the house, which was very clean and had no obvious signs of liquor or anything. 

It seemed like he was actually trying to change. 

"Why did I ever do that, please come back to me Scarlette, you're all I had..." He whispered to himself. 

Now I really see my father. 

The whole time, he was just in a state of depression and being drunk didn't help. It made him make irrational decisions, and make him go crazy. 

I actually felt kinda bad for him, but then I remembered that he did my last beating completely sober. 

I will not feel remorse for that man. 

I feel my anger coming back and I look away and see that there is once again, jagged icicles surrounding my fists. 

"It's alright to feel angry or sad Scarlette. I used this to watch everything he did to you, and everything you did as well. I wasn't being creepy or anything, but I wanted to know how well you were coping without me. Then I realized how badly he was treating you." 

"And then 10 years later you decide to do something!" I scream at her. My anger was in full force and I couldn't stop myself. 

"Calm down Scarlette! We can talk about this, there's no need to get angry." A small glimmer of fear appears in her eyes.

"YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN?! I SPENT 10 YEARS WITH THAT DISGUSTING MAN CALLED MY FATHER AND ENDURED ALL OF IT FOR YOU! AND TO FIND OUT YOU SAW AND DID SOMETHING 10 YEARS LATER!" I scream at her with my eyes turning ice cold. 

"SCARLETTE I AM YOUR MOTHER!" She screams back. 

I am done. 

She has the nerve to say that to me when she's never been there?! 

"YOU ARE NOT MY MOTHER! YOU WERE SELFISH AND NEVER THERE FOR ME EVEN WHEN I WANTED TO DIE!" I scream, feeling my throat closing up. 

I start to get so angry, that I am literally getting bigger, and bigger by the second. I tower over my fearful, but angry mother. A single tear rolls down her cheek and that's what brings me back to my senses. 

I immediately shrink down and shed a tear of my own realizing what I almost did. I almost killed my mother out of anger... 

She runs to me and engulfs me in a hug. 

I hug her back even harder and keep repeating "I'm so sorry mom." 

She pulls back and whispers, "Everytime you left the house after he hit you, he would wake up and feel so much anger at himself for getting drunk and doing that to you. You have no idea how much it hurt him when you came back and ignored him. You have no idea how much it hurt him to see you every day and be reminded of me. Alcohol was his only option and took away all his rationality. He is still your father." 

By now she has tears all over her face, and then I realized how much my parents actually love each other. What they both went through just for me. I start to feel bad for my father, knowing I still have hatred for him. 

But I don't tell my mother. 

When I meet him, I will still give him the beating of his life to make up for all of mine. 

I look back at the screen and see my father on his bed holding a gun in his hand looking at it. 

Wait, is he gonna commit suicide?! 

Is the guilt of me and the sadness of my mother really going to kill him?! 

I show my mother and she rushes her words out. 

"Hurry, we need to get there before he does it! Come Scarlette, he's your father, surely you wouldn't want him to die?" 

I think, and think. I don't have much time before he pulls the trigger. 

Should I let my father die, or let him live?