10.

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I don't know how honest he's being. I mean, he tells me nothing is wrong yet he complains about being tired and sore.

I guess it's something that I should react normal about. He's a teen, we're all stressed and sleep deprived. Anyone can feel that way so I suppose I will worry less.

I've been taking up on Shawn's ideas. The bond he has with his bond, it's the one I want back with my dad. And that's what has been going on. Since yesterday when we room Shawn to the check ups, I realized that hey, I want my dad to be there for me just like that.

I will never, have any child of mine grow up with a dad who isn't around for them. I want to be there one hundred percent.

And though my dad wasn't around before, yesterday when I asked to do some plans wit him today, he agreed. I'm up for this.

"So dad. My boyfriend is okay. Remember? I told you he was kinda sick. He's okay now." I mention to him as he throws the fishing rod over the boat. "Good." Is all he tells me.

"And in school, I'm doing alright. My grades have been improving ever since I met Shawn." I hope he's proud. "Nice."

I sigh. Maybe I can't try to build up something that's never existed. It'll just keep breaking down.

"Sorry for trying dad." I put my fishing rod down and sit at the edge of our boat. It was a decent size, if I wanted to avoid him, I could.

And he didn't come chasing after me. I sit here and expect for him to turn around, say something but he doesn't.

That's when I get up and stand directly behind him, "Where did I go wrong?" I ask him. He doesn't respond so I cross my arms and just look out to where his rod is.

"It's because I'm gay. Yeah. I knew it." Still no response but he puts his rod down and goes toward the wheel. He turns us back to land.

"Don't think it's that. I promise I've dealt with that on my own time. I won't judge you for that anymore. You know that." He sighs, steering the wheel without making eye contact.

My dad can believe whatever and do whatever, but I'm just going to be standing strong on my own like typically. I never had him before, so I clearly don't need him as much anymore.

--

I get home awkwardly and call Shawn. Still in concerns of how he's feeling. I want him to be healthy and okay, alright.

I do love him and I admit it, but I just can't say it straight to him yet. It's so against me of falling in love. I really want Shawn to tell me first. I need him to.

As if on queue, I hear my phone go off. It's shawn's mom which was nothing I expected at all. "Hello, Karen?" I ask. "I need you here now!" She says with a worried tone.

I rush my way over to Shawn's house, dodging cars and running red lights. Dangerous but I need to see Shawn, no question asked.

I bang on the door and when I try to knock again, gravity messes me up and I fall on the ground. "Where's Shawn?"

I look around the house and see balloons and little blocks, baby blocks. "Follow them." Karen announces.

I notice the trail spells my name. "Taylor thank you for taking care of me, another to come." As I'm done reading all of them off the floor, they lead me to Shawn holding his stomach.

My hands cup his cheeks as I embrace him in one of the most sloppiest yet connecting kisses ever. "You okay?"

He nods with a giggle. "What's this all about?" I ask him seeing the pink and blue balloons around him.

"Taylor. I'm pregnant with your baby." Shawn says with confidence. He takes the two of my hands and places it on his stomach.

"Shawn, I'm speechless. Am I suppose to feel glad that we've created something together or feel sorry because I did this to you?" I say with confusion.

"I thought you'd be happy... " Shawn says softy. "If you want your way out the door, now is okay. I mean, I want you but if you don't want to... "

"Baby, no no. I'll support you and our baby. We'll be a family but you know, we're both still young. It's hard for me to take this in." I tell him truthfully.

I sit on the couch and Shawn's mom comes along. "I've told you my story. I'm sure you can take care. If it does get to much, don't leave Shawn. Work it out and we'll try not to push you into things you don't want. Although, that's what I'm saying. But if I were another parent I would get raged at you for leaving my child pregnant!" She hits the back of my head.

"I promise. I'm here to stay." I tell her and I stand up facing Shawn. I look him in the eyes, those eyes that just twinkle. It gives me so much happiness.

"You have to know the pros and cons of this Shawn. School gets in the way, but at least this baby is here to stay." I say and he laughs at my rhyme scheme.

My hands find their way to Shawn's stomach on its own. He lifts up his shirt and I roam my hands around. "Oh..." I say quietly.

I go onto my knees and place my head against this nonexistent bump. I can't help but willingly rub his stomach and shower him with kisses.

"Shawn, I love you." I say, mesmerized. "Oh fuck!" I cover my mouth but realize I have already let it slip. "Yes, I admit it first but I'm glad I had done so. We're going to make a beautiful family with this love I have for you. I love you. I love you. I love you, Shawn. A lot and I don't know why I kept it in all this time. You make me a better person and saw things in me that I've never. Now here's to another." He leans in first kissing me roughly with his arms over my shoulder, my hands on his waist. "I love you too."

I place my lips against his ear, "Now you have a purpose for calling me daddy." I look at him and wink.

February 4, 2016

Elusive ☹ SHAYLOR MPregWhere stories live. Discover now