Shut The F*ck Up, No One Cares

Trigger Warning

Hey guys?

I need some advice on a serious situation.

Like life or death situation.

Like suicide life or death situation.

It's not about me, don't worry, I'm fine. I mean, we all know I got some issues, no questions there, but I'm really ok.

No, this is about one of my friends irl. I'm not gonna say any names because I've come to learn there are A LOT of people on Wattpad that go to my school, are in my classes, I'M KIND OF FRIENDS WITH. So yea, I'm gonna keep identity on the down low no show.

Anyway, she came down to my house today and she had a mini note book with her and she showed it to me, it was just some of her drawings (which are really good btw, go you, friend 😊).

So blah blah blah, skip a lot of hours of talking, me doing her hair (I LEARNED HOW TO DO DUTCH AND FRENCH BRAIDS-- not important rn, I'll tell you about that another time), and watching videos.

So we both forgot about the notebook (she set it on my dresser after she showed me her drawings btw) and she went home.

So after a couple minutes I had to go to the bathroom (tmi, soz) and when I came back in my room I saw her notebook.

I picked it up and thought about if I should look at it or not. I figured it was fine to look at it 'cause it was just drawings.

I was looking at the drawings and they were cool... and then on the second to last page was a drawing of a heart with a cut in it and thorn plant things wrapping around and stabbing it and blood dripping from it, next to that in the top left corner was a drawing of a closing door with someone yelling help, in the bottom left corner was a drawing of a table with a knife stabbed into it dripping blood, and in the top right corner was a dead cloud.

So these drawings coming from her, someone who is genuinely a great, happy, sarcastic, and just like me person, kind of worried me.

In the front of the notebook are two pockets which had more loose papers in them, again I figured they were more drawings.

I pulled them out and looked at them and it turns out that they were like journal entries from last year (2015).

🚫 Trigger Warning 🚫

I'm not gonna put what they said word-for-word, but basically it was saying how no one believes in her, everyone thinks she's stupid and should give up on school because she's not going anywhere in life, everyone is saying that she'll still be living with her family when she's 30, everyone is telling her she's ugly and fat, and at the end of the latest entry she said that people are telling her to kill herself and that she's thinking about going through with it.

Guys, I don't want her to kill herself. I really really don't want her to kill herself. She's my best friend, I love her like she's my sister.

I just don't know what to do. I'm not sure if she still feels like that, or if people are still saying those horrible, untrue things. And if she doesn't feel that way anymore and I say something I don't want her to be mad at me for going through her notebook, because I had no right to.

I just want her to be ok, and I need help with this. If you guys have any advice on what I should do it would be greatly appreciated. You have no idea. I would love you forever.

Ok guys, I will talk to you hopefully soon, and remember: unless you're a serial killer or something like that, I love you unconditionally and you are beautiful and unbelievably important no matter what anybody says. ❤

❤ And if you're going through some rough times, or you just need/want someone to talk to, I'm always here. Always. ❤