Words In My Head

Secret Love Story

a glance
a peek
thoughts rush
heart leaps

a joke
a smile
happiness
for a while

a longing
to stay
forever
this way

then horror
a dread
self hated
in my head

confusion
and fear
then realisation
a tear

relief
then grief
betrayal
disbelief

secrets
lies
dead
behind the eyes

acceptance
yet pain
still rules
my brain

my heart?
torn
bleeding
forlorn

hopes and desires
far beyond my years
lead to torture
untold tears

my living wish
impossible
tearing me to
bits

compassion
hate
so hard to
wait

for a future
that's mine
my own place
my own time

meanwhile
I hide
I smile
false pride

you know
yet still find
your warm smile
words so kind

accepting
what I fear
how do I deserve
a friend so dear?

a glance
a peek
thoughts crush
heart weak

loved you then
love you still
always have
always will

no matter if
it makes me ill
or slowly moves in
to take the kill