The Boyfriend Diaries

8) Pucker up-

    Chapter Eight: Pucker up-

    I was sprawled out on Melissa's bed upside-down with my head hanging off the edge, a process I was told helped your thinking brain-waves functions better. I wasn't feeling any smarter or experiencing any intellectual epiphanies. In fact all I could fee was all the blood rushing down into my neck and through my cheeks, making my entire face burn hotly. I wondered how long it would take before my head exploded.

    “What about Naomi? That's a blondish kinda name, right?” I asked Melissa as my vision began to blur and I started to feel a weeny bit dizzy.

    Quickly stealing a glance to my left over to where Liss was sat at her desk with her laptop, I caught the moment when my question eventually registered inside her head.

    “Yeah. Naomi sounds cool.”

    “Which one's Naomi for?” I quizzed her.

    A minute later was her answer of, “The red-head?”

    I sighed and rolled sideways onto my stomach, the room spinning with me until I caught my wits.

    “No, Liss. Naomi is the blonde. What are you doing that's more important than our mission to find your perfect boyfriend?”

    “No-nothing.” She stuttered, slamming the laptop closed before I could see for myself. She swivelled around in her chair and sent me a smile that oozed guilt and sadness.

    I softened my glare sympathetically. Melissa was probably checking out Liam's profile again, the guy right at the opposite end of the perfect-boyfriend scale, and going through his pictures of him and his newest trophy girlfriend. That boy needed throwing into a trash can wit h the lid nailed shut and then sent rolling down a hill into the nearest river. I'm betting nobody will miss him, and a helluva lot more girl wont be left just as distraught as Melissa had been when he dumped her. Instead of ranting and raving I steered clear of the subject knowing that if I so much as whispered his name we'd have a waterfall of tears on our hands, and right now I just didn't have the patience to mop that mess up.

    So, I thought it best to try and distract her. What better way than to leap from the bed to her dresser, slapping make-up across my face. A little black eye shadows under the brows, a smear of purple lip stick across the lips and two big blotches of bright pink blusher across my cheeks. I saw the eyeliner pencil and just couldn't help myself by drawing a curly moustache under my nose. Pulling the blonde wig I'd left on the dresser with the others I dramatically spun around and pouted.

    Melissa's eyes widened, like the times when we'd watch a horror movie together and the monster had just leapt out of the closet to claim its next kill. I dropped dramatically to my knee, my hand held out towards her.

    “Oh, Darren!” I cried. “Handsome Darren! I am a lonely princess looking for her prince. Marry me!”

    When she didn't say anything I shuffled closer towards her. Melissa began giggling to herself and lifted her legs from the floor just in case I'd make a grab for them and she stood on her chair, trying to find her balance as she fended me off.

    “Shay, go away! You look insane. Get away from me, you creep!”

    “You cannot escape me, my prince! I will follow you to the ends of the earth. My love is boundless!”