Baby Blues (Zayn Malik Fanfiction-One Direction)

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Zayn watched as Emma made her rounds through their guests.  Just about everyone was there.  The rest of the guys with their wives/girlfriends.  Except for Harry.  Their families.  The Tomlinson’s, The Payne’s, The Horan’s, The Styles’s, and the Malik’s.  As well as their band and  some of the road crew and ‘Uncle‘ Simon.  They were having a barbecue to kick off their tour.

Emma had given no explanation as to where she was or why she had suddenly left earlier in the day.  Nor why did she explain why she turned her cell off.  She had greeted everyone when she walked into the house and went upstairs to their bedroom to change.  She had put on a floral bikini and matching sarong and then helped Zayn get things ready in the kitchen.  She and Zayn had made small talk, but he could tell she was avoiding him.  He watched as she downed drink after drink.  She never drank like she was doing tonight.  She must have been on her fourth or fifth Long Island iced tea.  He had lost count.  She didn’t appear to be drunk.  She could hide her drunkenness very well from the others.  Except for Zayn and Harry.

Zayn chatted with his parents and Niall’s family before moving along and sitting down at one of the patio tables.  His eyes never leaving his wife’s movements.  She laughed at a joke that Louis had made and playfully slapped Liam on the arm.  She went inside and came back a few minutes later.  Zayn wasn’t the only one watching her.

“What’s going on Zayn?” Harry asked, sitting down next to him.

“I wish I knew.  I didn’t forget her birthday did I?” he asked.  

“No.  Something is bothering her.”

“I know.  She’s never been like this before.  Was she ever like this with you?” Zayn asked.

Harry thought back to when he and Emma had been together.  They had some good times, but they were both too much alike to stay together.  They always had a very strong connection and remained close friends.  Then she hooked up with Zayn and they fell in love and got married.  Harry didn’t hold any hard feelings towards either of them.  He still loved her and wanted her to be happy.  She seemed to find her happiness with Zayn.

“No Zayn.  She’s off though.  I just can’t figure out what it is.”  They both continued to watch her.  She looked over at the both of them and waved and smiled at them.  They both returned her smile and waved back.

“Okay everyone, listen up!  We have an announcement to make.” Louis said, standing on one of the chairs so that everyone could see him.  He pulled Eleanor over to stand next to him and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.  Everyone began to gather around him.  His smile was as big as could be.

“We were going to wait to tell everyone, but we are just too damn excited! We are gonna have a baby!”  Cheers went up and congratulations were said.  Zayn and Harry shot a look at Emma.    Both of them thinking the same thing.  Zayn and Emma had been trying to have a baby since the day they had gotten married.  They had dozens of tests done and Emma had been on all different kinds of fertility drugs.  Nothing worked and she was very bitter about it.  Her face was pure white.  She dropped her glass.  It shattered.  Zayn hurried to her side.

“Baby, you okay?” he asked as Harry came towards them with a broom and dustpan.  He began to sweep up the glass.  Louis and Eleanor came over by them.

“Emma, you okay?” Louis asked.  Emma looked up at him with a blank stare before her hazel eyes turned steel gray with coldness.

“I’m fine Lou.  Why wouldn’t I be.”?   She pulled away from Zayn and stood up on the chair that Louis had just vacated.  “Hey everyone, I have my own announcement to make.”  Everyone looked at Emma as she stood there.  Maybe she’s pregnant too Zayn thought.  He smiled at her.  She looked directly at him.  Her smile fading.  “I went to the doctor today and guess what?!”  Zayn felt a hand on his arm and looked to see his mom standing next to him.  She wanted a grandchild very badly.  “I had a miscarriage last week and guess what else, I’ll never be able to have children because I also found out I have ovarian cancer so they are gonna take out my insides!”  Silence filled the pool area followed by gasps of shock.  Emma got off of the chair and hurried into the house.  Leaving a stunned husband and family staring at her retreat.

“Zayn? What’s going on?” he heard his mom ask.  He didn’t know what to say.  What to think.

“Um, I don’t know mom.” He looked around at his guests.  They all seemed a bit dazed.  He looked down at Harry, who had stopped cleaning up the broken glass.  He sensed that Zayn was about to loose his composure.  “Um, everyone, please stay and enjoy the party, I’ll be right back.”  Zayn hurried into the house after Emma.

Why didn’t she tell him? Why didn’t she tell him she had a miscarriage? Again.  This would make the fourth one she had.  Every time they would get their hopes up, they would be diminished as the result of her miscarrying.  He searched the main floor of the house.  She wasn’t anywhere there.  Whenever she was upset, she would usually closet herself away in his studio, but not this time.  He headed upstairs and to their bedroom.  That was where he heard her.  Sobbing in the bathroom.

“Emma? Baby?”

“Don’t fucking say that word around me!” she yelled at him.  He knelt down in front of her.  He tried to touch her.  She pushed him away.  Roughly.  He knew part of her strength stemmed from the alcohol in her system.  He backed off.  Not wanting to upset her any further.

“Emma? What happened? Why didn’t you tell me you had a miscarriage? Honey, I could have helped you.”  She looked up at him.  Tears rolling down her cheeks.

“What’s the point Zayn? Tell me!”  She got up and pushed past him to the closet.  She began to pull out suitcases and emptying her dresser drawers.

“Emma, what are you doing?” he asked.  Now he was more confused than ever.  All he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her.  Comfort her.  Comfort himself.  She roughly pulled off her swimming suit and pulled on shorts and a top.  Then returned to piling clothes in her suitcase.

“I’ll be contacting my lawyer in the morning Zayn.” She said flatly.  Her tears since stopped.

“Lawyer? What the hell for?” now he was getting angry.  What the hell was going on?

She shut her suitcase and looked at him.  Her arms crossed.

“Because I can’t give you what you want.”

“What I want? All I want is you Emma.  Even if we don’t have any children.  You know that.  I’ve always told you that!”

“Okay Zayn.  Whatever you say.” She said sarcastically.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”  She tried to push past him to leave but he put his hand on her shoulder and held her back.  She looked at him.  Her eyes as cold as stone.

“You are so jealous of Liam and Danielle, and I know now that Louis and Eleanor are going to have a baby, you’ll be jealous of them.  Wanting what you now know you can’t have!”

“I’m not jealous!”

“The hell you aren’t Zayn.  I’ve always wanted our life to be perfect, but now I finally know that I can’t give you what! The perfect life.  Be the perfect wife.  Have a baby.  Be the perfect family.  Because it will never happen now!”  She burst into tears once more and picked up her suitcase.  

Zayn followed behind her quickly as she tore down the stairs.  She wasn’t surprised to see Harry standing at the bottom of them with his eyebrows raised at her.  She glared at him as she ran past him.

“Emma!” she heard Zayn yell.  “Get back here.  You are in no condition to drive anywhere.”

“Well Zayn maybe that will save the lawyers time on paperwork then!” she stormed out of the house and got into her Range Rover and tore out of the driveway.  Zayn ran into the driveway to try to stop her.  But he was too late.

“Lawyers Zayn? What the hell is going on?” Harry asked.