Baby Blues (Zayn Malik Fanfiction-One Direction)

Chapter 36

Baby Blues-Chapter 36

“I knew you’d be here early.” Emma said without even looking up.  She kept her gaze focused on the ocean in front of her.

“And how did you know that?” Harry said sitting down next to her in the sand.  She turned and smirked at him.

“I’ve known you for a long time.  I know you.”

“Yeah you do.”  They were silent for a few minutes.  Harry reached over and gently rubbed her stomach.  She smiled at him as he did.

“How are the babies?” he asked.

“Good.”  Emma stood up and reached out for his hand.  “Take a walk with me.”  

Harry got up and took a hold of her hand and they headed down the beach.  

“Did you see Zayn?”

“Yeah, I dropped my bag off at the house.”

“Did he say anything?”

“No, just told me where you were.”  More silence.

“God I love it here.” She said.

“I know you do.  So, you wanna tell me what’s going on?”  

Emma sighed.  She could already feel her insides churning.  Telling Harry would be one of the hardest things she ever did.  She squeezed his hand tighter.

“I went to the doctor the other day.”

“Is everything okay with the babies?” he asked worriedly.

“Yeah, they’re okay.  But I’m not.”  

Harry stopped walking and looked down at her.  “What do you mean you’re not?”

“Harry, I……” she looked up at him.  Tears forming in her eyes.  “They did a cat scan on my head.  And those migraines that I’ve been getting.”

“Yeah…”

“They weren’t migraines.”

“What is it?”

Emma quickly wiped away her tears.  “I have a brain tumor.”  

Harry stared at her.  Not believing the words that had come out of her mouth.

“You’re joking.” Was the only thing he could say.  

Emma half laughed and half cried.

“I wish I was.”  

Harry turned away from her, running his hand through his hair.  Still trying to comprehend what she had just told him.

“A tumor?”

“Yes Haz.  A tumor.”  

Harry felt his heart breaking in two.  No, not Emma.

“Get a second opinion.”

“I plan on it, but we saw the scan Harry.  I have a tumor the size of a golf ball in my head.”  She tried to remain calm, but her emotions got the better of her.  Harry’s face looked strained.

“No.  It’s not true.”  He turned away from her and began walking.  

Emma quickly followed him. “Harry.  Stop!”

“You can’t have a tumor.”

”Why can’t I?  Do you think I want this?”

“What about chemotherapy?  You can have that and it will take care of it, won’t it?”  Harry was in a state of shock now.  Really not wanting to believe it.

“No chemo.”

“What the hell do you mean no chemo?”  

Emma made him stop walking.  She could see the wheels in his brain turning.  “Harry.  Look at me! I’m pregnant!  If I start chemo now, it would either cause birth defects in my children or kill them.”

“So you would rather kill yourself!”

“Don’t you fucking patronize me! You know how much I’ve always wanted children.  And now that I’m going to have them, I will not jeopardize their future!” She yelled at him.

“What if you die before they’re born?”

“My doctor thinks that I will make it to full term.”

“He thinks.” Harry said sarcastically.  “What about after they’re born? Will you have chemo then?”

“I don’t know.” She answered quietly.  It wasn’t something she and Zayn had even discussed yet.

“What the hell do you mean you don’t know?!” he yelled at her.

“I don’t know Harry.  Don’t you yell at me!”

“Why shouldn’t I when you aren’t even speaking any sense.  You would rather let yourself die and bring babies into this world.”

“They are Zayn’s children too or have you forgotten that?”

“No I haven’t forgotten.  Fuck.”

“Harry, look at me.”  She grabbed his arm and turned him around to her.  She could see the anger in his face.  The hurt.  The pain.

“How long have they given you?”

“They don’t know.  I will have to go in weekly for scans so they can determine how fast it will grow without any chemo.”

“Jesus, Em.  You…..we….”

“Harry, I don’t want to die.  Do you want to know how it feels, knowing that I won’t be there for my children when they are growing up,” she began to sob as she clutched at his arms.  “That I won’t ever kiss you again, that, oh God, that I’ll never make love to my husband again!  I’ve thought of nothing else since I found out.  So don’t you yell at me and tell me I’m selfish because I want my children alive.  That I want them to be with their father.  He deserves these children!”  

Harry turned away from her.  His own eyes filling with tears.

“I need to get out of here.  I can’t stay here.” He walked away from her.  

Emma sank down to the sand and sobbed.  “Harry!” she yelled after him, her tears still falling.  Harry kept walking.  Never looking back.