I sat in my car staring up at my house thinking of what to stay to Brad before I left and was on my way. Suddenly I had changed my mind. I got out of my car and began walking back towards my house, completely caught off guard once Mike opened the door.
"Everything okay?" Mike questioned looking at me confused before I wrapped my arms around his torso hugging my husband tightly tears falling from my eyes.
"Mike, we need to talk." I pulled away looking down into his eyes.
"Alright..."
"I have to tell you something. Mike something happened between Brad and I..." I sat on the couch putting my head in my hands for a brief second before looking at my husband who was sitting beside me.
"Wait, you had sex with him?" Mike questioned looking away from me.
"No. It was just kissing and he touched me some but my clothes were on." I answered ashamed of my actions.
"Carrie why?" He put his head in his hands with a sigh.
"I am not saying it was your fault. It was my decision completely but, I just felt like you didn't love me anymore. I wasn't going over to his house for that reason. I just needed someone to talk to." I tried explaining without crying although it seemed impossible.
"Carrie." He stood from the couch running his fingers through his hair.
"I was going to tell him that it was nothing and it could be nothing but... I felt like I should tell you first." I wiped my eyes.
"Okay."
"What?" I was confused. "Okay"? What does that mean?
"I understand. It was my fault Carrie. If I hadn't treated you so horribly you would never have allowed him to kiss you, or you kiss him. I am sorry." My husband apologized.
"Don't apologize for this Mike. Please don't. I love you so damn much I couldn't care less about Brad and whatever kiss we had. I love you." I stood on my toes looking into his eyes.
"Carrie. Just stop." Mike looked away from me causing me to sigh biting my lip. "Yeah I feel somewhat responsible but I don't like the thought of you kissing another man or the thought of you allowing another man to touch you Carrie." Mike pulled away from me as more tears fell from my eyes. "The thought of another woman touching me the way you do makes me sick." Mike confessed.
"Mike I am sorry... I-"
"Carrie. How could you do that to me?" Mike looked down at me seriously.
"I'm sorry Mike." I cried resting my head on his chest causing my husband to wrap his arms around me holding me closer to him. Mike being my best friend has helped me through a lot, including this. "I hate myself so much for doing that Mike. I don't know what's wrong with me." I continued crying.
"Look at me. Nothing is wrong with you." Mike placed both hands on the side of my face looking down into my eyes.
"It was a mistake Mike. I love you." I said as more years fell down my face. I absolutely cannot control my emotions right now. I feel horrible, like a horrible wife, a horrible person.
"Care. It's okay..." He hugged me tightly rubbing my back. "I forgive you." He added causing me to look up at him.
"How could you forgive me Mike? I-"
"Stop... Baby. I forgive you. It's okay. Stop tearing yourself down. I don't like it when you're upset okay?" I just nodded in response causing him to faintly smile, leaning down kissing my lips softly. "I am not upset with you... Don't be upset with yourself." Mike added causing me to nod once again.
Sorry it took longer than usual. I have had a lot going on lately.
