Supernatural Oneshots English -CLOSED-

"On nights like this."

He felt the whsikey run down his throat and the bitter sweet taste afterwards. He made a sign so the bartender would fill up.

"Dean go easy. Would you?", Sam asked his older brother but he knew Dean wouldn't listen. There were some nights were Dean wasn't there. Like his body was next to Sams but his mind...was gone.
Dean stared at the tiny shotglass filled with brownish liquid and thought about the first time he ever tried alcohol.

He was 15 and it was also the first time he got drunk and threw up the whole night. John had punished him with some extra work because he didn't look out for Sam for half an hour.
Sam had been asleep and Dean wanted to be a kid for half an hour and play some basketball with the other boys he heard playing. It had been just outside the door. Dean was able to see Sam through the window if something should have happened he would've been there. But his father didn't listen.

Dean stopped trying to be a kid that day. He started to drink and since then he would always drink a beer before he would go to sleep because he realized that if he did he could fall asleep better and he wouldn't have to think about his life.
When he was asleep he didn't have to blame his father or worry about Sammy.

Dean raised the glass a little and looked himself in the eye in the mirror on the other side of the bar before he drank it.

Sam never understood what his brother was thinking about on nights like this and he didn't ask. Dean never was the type for chick-flick moments like he called it. So Sam would always sit next to his older brother and be there for him. What Sam didn't know was that Dean needed his little brother on nights like this. Yes Dean didn't talk but the presence of his little brother was always enough to keep him going.

On nights like this Sam liked to think about people he loved and the moments with them. But somehow he would always drift away to the memories with Dean in the past. He would always end up thinking about childhood memories with Dean where they had fun. Just the two of them.
No father who would boss them around. No monsters which needed to be killed. No tears falling down.

Just the two boys having a good time. Like the one time where they went to a playstore after school and Dean let him choose something. Sam grabbed a box of tiny little slodiers. He thought that they could play with them together and it had been the first toys Sam ever got. He remembered how he played with them in the Impala and the little army men got stuck in the ashtray - it was still there actually.

Dean tried to get the army men out for an hour so Sam would have his toy back but he couldn't. So he told Sam that it was a good thing that it was stuck there. It would always be with Sam wherever he went.

The brothers didn't know maybe that it was all the little things that kept them going after being through so much crap. After watching the other one die several times they learned to appreciate the little moments in their lifes.

"To us.", Dean said suddenly and Sam was a little confused but raised his glass anyway.

Deep down, under the whole low self-esteem, pain, self-hatred and guilt the boys knew that as long as they were together life was worth living.