The life of Amanda Rae

It can't be. #1

I remember when he left. I remember when he promised me over the phone that night, that the next day, will be a new day, with a new world of problems to face. And oh damn was he right.  That very next day, it was like he fell off the face of the Earth.

He didn't answer my calls. 

My text messages. 

Never answered the door. 

Another part of me died. 

First it was sister who was brutally murdered. 

Now my best friend just left me alone to deal with the constant pain from the murder of my older sister. 

Tammy was just a year older than me. I was a freshman in high school when she got murdered. She was a Junior. She was very popular and guided me through the halls of the school, helped me with everything. Now you would think that if sisters went to the same school, you'd think the older sister would be a stuck up bitch and use popularity to bash others down and emotionally hurt them. My sister is not like that. She's popular because of her kindness. She doesn't dress slutty, she doesn't act slutty, nor did she want to be slutty. She was fully dressed every single day. Either a dress that flowed down to her knees and brought out her curves, or jeans with a sweatshirt the next day. Either way, She was absolutely and outrageously beautiful. I was jealous about her beauty. Make up or no make up, she will always be considered beautiful. Her chocolate brown her cascaded down her back, bringing out her baby blue eyes. My sister was and still is everything to me....

"Amanda." I bring my head up and look at my mother right in the eyes. Her eyes bright red and swollen from crying. 

"Yeah?" 

"How was school today?" Her voice starting to sound horse.

"School is school." I brought my head back down and started staring at my pea's on my plate intensely. 

"Have you heard from Pa--"

"I think I'm just going to go get ready for bed." I simply get out of my seat, push my chair in, and go and kiss my mother on her cheek before leaving to go upstairs. 

Before I enter my room, I see my dad's office door opened slightly, with light glowing through the cracks. 

I knock before entering then I go in. 

My dad is typing furiously on his laptop, probably writing a paper for his work. After all, He is the towns New's Paper editor. 

"Dad" I say.

His typing stops and he looks directly at me. 

"Yes?"

"I...I..uh.." 

"Are you okay Amanda?" He gets up from his seat, and starts walking towards me, and his hand touches my shoulder. 

"I...I..." My throat feels tight, and my eyes are starting to water. 

"Amanda, sweetie, what's wrong" I see panic in his eyes. 

"I..I miss her." A loud sob escapes my lips, and a tear cascades down my cheek. 

"I miss her so much. Its been three years and I miss her so much." Another sob croaks out of me. 

My dad brings me into a hug and starts rocking me back and forth. 

"I know my little angel, I know. I miss her too." 

"Bring her back. She needs to come home." 

"She is home. She's looking at you and smiling at you from up above. She misses you too." His voice becomes croaky and tears start to fall down his face as well.

"I can't live without her any longer. It's so difficult." 

"All you need to do is stay strong. And you can get through anything." 

My dad starts to hum 'My Little Angel' in my ear and continues to rock me back and forth like a baby. 

His humming is starting to fade and the next thing I know.

 I'm fast asleep. 

********************************************************************

The next day, I'm woken up by my alarm. I look over at my night stand and check the time. 

5:45 am. 

I slowly get out of bed, go to the bathroom and do my business. 

I blow dry my hair, straighten it. I put on my red beanie on top of my chocolate brown hair that cascades about 4 inches right below my shoulders. I put on my black ripped skinny jeans, with a grey sweater. I apply mascara and foundation, and grab my stuff and head down stairs. 

As I reach the bottom step, I smell alcohol in the air. I knew exactly what was happening. 

My mothers morning drink. 

Ever since Tammy passed away, My mom become a drunk while my dad became a work-a-holic. 

"Mom?" I sighed.

"Ye..yes dear" She stuttered with her words. 

"I love you" 

"I love you too Mandy"

I grab two oranges, and a golden delicious apple, and throw them in my bag. I grab my keys to my car, I kiss my mother on the forehead and head to school. 

"Bye dear, have a good day" my dad hollers from up the stairs. 

"I'll try." and with that, I shut the door and leave.

*****************

I get to school about 20 minutes early, which is typical of me. 

I park my car, and I stay seated. 

"It's just another day, with a new world of problems to face." Remembering what he told me that day. I've said that to myself every day since then. 

"I'll be okay." 

After reassuring myself, I take my keys out of the key holder, get out. Grabbed my bag and locked my car. 

Before I proceed to walk, I stare at the school and prepare myself for an entire new day. 

I proceed to walk, go up the stairwell, open the doors, go straight to my locker, and head to my first class, Chemistry. 

As I'm walking to my first class I hear gossip going on all around me. 

"Did you hear? Leah is pregnant!" 

"What a slut"

"Dude, I banged Emily Stanly last night. It was great"

"Did you hear? A new guy is coming today." 

I listen a little closer. 

"Who?"

"I think his last name is Carter?"

My heart just officially dropped out of my chest and my face went completely blank. 

"It can't be." I muttered to myself.