Diary of a Couch Potato (Cont.)

Chap. 4-little miss looney

Sadie’s lost it.

Once I had a friend, now I have a blond vegetable. Mom says everyone goes a little brain-dead when they experience there first heartthrob. But, this was way too much. Even for Sadie, the Looney princess herself. How Was I supposed to know that Sadie liked someone in the first place? No, actually. How was I supposed to know that my best friend (i.e. my only friend) fell MADLEY in love with (Out of all people)…my bonehead brother?

So tell me…

HOW THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW???!!!

No, the question is…when then this even happen? How could I not notice this horrible tragedy coming to life?

I thought that only happened in movies…but out of all people…why does it have to be him? I mean, it’s bad enough that my best friend is crushing on my brother, but my brother has to be Brian Bettglia out of all brothers. And this all comes to light, when I’m trying to hook her up with someone else. Who, which I have promised a romantic get together with her.

Why me? Why me? Why me, man?!

Well, I can tell she fell head over heels for Brian. Just look at her. Her brain went so mushy after she finally decided to tell me the (Traumatizing) truth that she’s been having this long-time crush thing on Brian, and she told me this right before I was about to tell her about Tyson.

I have nicknamed him Tyson chicken nuggets for short(If that even makes any sense) and decided to post pone the whole ‘secret crush’ confession to Sadie. That is, until, I find a way to talk her out of this ridiculous childish illusion. Not, all ‘Best friend’s brother’ relationships work out ya know?

I repeat, it’s never going to happen. Over my dead body.

I’m not being selfish, not at all. I’m just thinking about Sadie, he’ll break her heart. I don’t know that for a fact, but that’s what I’m betting for.

Sadie’s sleeping over tonight. At this very moment, she’s curled in a sleeping bag on my bedroom floor. She looks perfectly normal, aside from the drool dripping over the side of her jaw. I realized, though, I must have overestimated her intelligence more that I’ve given her credit for.

For example: Inside that sleeping bag, clutched in her delicate fingers, is a picture of Brian she snatched from my bedroom window (Without my permission, by the way). In the photo Brian’s dressed in a raggedy cut shirt in the armholes, his eyes are clearly red like he’s been sniffing pixy sticks or something, and he’s smirking in a way that shows he’s up to no good.

His evil-looking smile gets real annoying, and he’s usually wears a look on his face that says I’m BAD and you know it. And to prove it, he lives up to his trashy reputation by constantly getting into fights over pointless things. Like, for example, Ketchup. Can you imagine a buff guy hissing to wimpy you, “Oh, I know you just didn’t touch MY ketchup!” With a fist ready to pound your face in, all over a stupid pack of ketchup?

And she actually thinks that He’s attractive!

Since when has Brian been up to good, anyway? Every time I see him he’s either getting arrested by the police, tagging graffiti in the boy’s locker room, Shoving nerds(Like Dexter Gibson) into trash cans, or asking me for a dollar.

Wow, I know…I’ve got such a GREAT brother (Me Being sarcastic) and we just happen to be living under the same roof when we are both complete opposites of each other. He being a soon-to-be Jail breaker, and me being a soon-to-be sumo wrestler (Because of my large butt).

I gazed down at sleeping peacefully Sadie, and wondered to myself if I did the right thing by telling her all the malicious lies about Brian being a undercover terrorist (Which she totally fell for) and about him wanting to blow up East Columbushigh(Our hell for high school). When, I told her this she asked me if I thought that she can convince Brian to go to the Bright side. I was like OMG! She has got to be kidding me!