Arin's POV
What to do... I couldn't handle all of this. Jon was looking at me expectantly, just hoping for my acceptance of his love. But I knew that to be true to myself I would have to risk losing Jon again. I just wanted a friend! Is that too much to ask for?!
"I can't say yes," I spoke truthfully, meekly hoping for his understanding.
"O-oh. Okay," Jon was disappointed, which I expected; it hurt nonetheless, "I'm sorry. I came to help you get over love, not to burden you more," he put aside his own emotions for me.
"C'mon, buddy... Are you okay?" It was my turn to help Jon, but I wasn't sure how to, or even if I could; I was his interest, so it might be best if I left him alone, or... I don't know. I just don't know what to do, what to say to him, how to help.
"Arin," Jon laughs a bit at my concern, pulling himself together, at least enough to smile a small bit, "I'm gonna be fine. Besides, you're still here, and at least I can say that much."
"I-I'm sorry," I muttered, looking at the floor, not able to meet his gaze.
"Arin, look at me, please!" Jon begged, pulling me closer by grabbing me by my arm.
"I-" I felt my voice shake, so I stopped, knowing if I kept going, I might cry; I wish I was stronger sometimes.
"Arin!" Jon grabbed my face, forcing me to look into his eyes.
"What is it?" I tried my best to escape his gaze, but, of course, in my position, it was impossible.
"I don't want you to worry about me, or any of this for that matter," Jon's eyes were filled with pain and sympathy directed towards me.
"I feel terrible, Jon," I couldn't stand it anymore; under his gaze, I couldn't keep any secrets. Under his gaze, I couldn't keep quiet. Under his gaze, I knew I could trust him. He would keep my emotions safe.
"Please don't cry!" Jon exclaimed; I hadn't even noticed my own tears.
"I'm not crying!" I try to deny the obvious, and at that point, I had collapsed in Jon's arms. I can't take it! Sometimes I just wanted help, to not have to be strong and responsible and tough. I just need a break! I just need some time. I wish someone else could take over in my position for once. I felt sick, like something inside me died.
"Arin?!" I only hear Jon's voice; I kept my eyes closed, "Buddy, pal... I'm sorry, I didn't know what I was thinking. I'm a fool, Arin," he took back his confession, hugging me tighter, as if I was a puppy.
"Mh-n-no," Jon wasn't a fool, and he had to have meant what he said. He was so sincere.
"Baby..." Jon sighed without thinking, as if it was instinct to him, "Sorry!" He apologized quickly after, and I knew guilt was overtaking his every action as he tried to redeem himself.
"If that makes you comfortable..." I honestly hoped he would keep it up, "Keep calling me that."
"Really?" Jon was surprised at my sudden shift in attitude, but I couldn't muster enough energy to care about it myself.
"Yep," I answer simply, wishing for silence, and maybe some cuddles.
"Baby, come here," he whispered, hugging me, refusing to let me go. We stayed still. Maybe I like him, maybe I don't. I just knew I was warm. Nice and warm.
