Alone Together (Jasper Hale)

06: Bittersweet.

» this is the road to ruin, and we're starting at the end. «

2001

"Tell me what troubles you my love." Jasper cradled me in his arms. I really couldn't hide anything from him. Part of me was content with the fact he could tell when there was a problem. Other times I didn't want him to know. I needed to be secluded in my own thoughts. This was one of those moments. Even though I wasn't entirely secluded. Edward could naturally know what I had been going through as well. Possibly Alice as well. The lack of privacy was prominent in the house but I had grown used to it a year later.

An entire year in one place.

The idea didn't sit well with me for the past several weeks. It made me feel antsy all over. It was like an itch I couldn't get rid of. It was weird to have been in one place for so long. I hated myself for these thoughts. I had grown so accustomed to my new and wonderful family. I felt like I cheated them in a sense with my need to travel. It was my selfishness that wanted to run away some nights to explore the world. I couldn't help it. I had spent a majority of my life traveling from one place to another. For the first few months I had thought it was something I always wanted. But there was still so much to explore and I needed to see everything. But I couldn't just leave. It would be extremely unfair. Especially to Emmett. He was my best friend. We had gotten back into the old swing of things the way that we used to be. We made the jokes and played the old games we used to. Rosalie had been born the same we had as well so the three of us always spoke about our time period together. We all had that in common. Except for the fact Rosalie had grown up in Rochester and remained in her riches even during the Great Depression. Emmett and I simply lived our country lives.

Edward and Carlisle had finished their research on me. They reached a stalemate after months of trying. The memory couldn't be recovered as easily as they thought. No matter what tests they had performed on me, it was to no avail. I was still curious about my coming about into his life; but I was also content with not knowing. When the time would come, even after all these years, I would discover who and why this happened. Edward and Carlisle were defeated, but I assured them that I would tell them the moment I knew. The moment even one slither of recollection came to me; I'd tell them. I thanked them for their efforts. Though it was mainly to answer their curiosity, it was after all, to help me out. Over the course of the year, I had Carlisle teach me a few things of what he had learned through all his centuries of living too. He was my main source of education.

Esme still harbored the same feelings for me as ever. Still motherly and still loving towards me. Though she and I shared a love for interior decorating and where each piece in her house came from. There were a great many antiques that were around her house. It was always fun to hear where she nabbed them from. I loved to hear the stories. In a way, she reminded me much of my own mother. They shared the same qualities; physical and emotional. They shared the same dark hair, the height, and though Esme was hard as stone, her touch was gentle and loving. She had this extreme need to make sure we were okay. All the time, she even asked if I fed, made sure I didn't have as many human urges, and helped control my blood lust. I was the newest to adjust to strictly animals.

Alice was the only one I vocally admitted to my want to leave. Which what her cryptic message to me earlier in the year had been. When I told her, she held a knowledgable look in her eyes. She was someone who I grew to love and trust the most besides my mate and Emmett who I've known since I was 16. She had her own protests against it. She said she would miss me far too much and I had grown to be her favorite as well. She pushed for me to do whatever my heart desired, but to heed with caution. She had clearly seen the outcome of my decision on both taking Jasper with me or leaving without him. Naturally, she wouldn't reveal what the outcome was.