I'll Be The Fire That'll Catch You (Kellic)

Chapter eighteen

“Vic?” I heard someone knock from the other side of my bedroom door. It has been roughly 15 minutes since Kellin drifted off to sleep. It’s a great thing, actually. The whole time, he was sobbing. I tried my best to make him stop. He did calmed down for a bit but after a few minutes, I would feel him shake and once again cry. It really breaks my heart seeing him so miserable and broken like this. I wish it’s just that easy to run away with him and leave these problems behind. But reality has to ruin everything.

“Bro, it’s me.”
I carefully unwrapped my arms around Kellin’s waist and cautiously pushed myself off from my bed. I kissed his cheek before I walked towards the door.

I swung the door open and I saw my brother.
“I need to talk to you.” He said in a very serious tone. He grab hold of my wrist and dragged me down to the kitchen.

“So, you’ve heard.” I said with a small chuckle.

“Yeah, dude. Kellin’s mom is worried sick! She was crying when she called us a while ago.” Mike said as we sat down. I tried to avoid looking at his direction so I kept my head down, staring at my lap.

“I don’t know what to do next, Mike. I’m so confused. My original plan was to leave Kellin and maybe just, you know, go somewhere else. Anywhere far away from here so that he could sort his mind out, sort our minds out. Maybe if I push myself away from him, all of these would just end. His mom and our dad would get married and everything would be the way that they wanted it to be, you know? But..”

For a few moments, Mike and I just sat in silence. It seems like he too was digging deep and thinking for a solution about this little problem of ours.

“You could’ve just told me that you wanted to leave me.”
A voice snapped me and Mike out of our thoughts. I quickly turned around and looked at Kellin who was standing on the last step of the stair.

“No, no. It’s not like that, Kells”

“Fuck you, Vic. Fuck you!” He shouted as tears started to well up his eyes. I got up from my seat and literally ran towards him. But before I could even reach the spot where he was standing, he fled off and ran his way to the front door.

“Kellin, let me explain this to you!” I shouted, trying to get his attention. When he reached the front door, he stopped in his tracks and turned to look at me.

“The very first time that I truly trusted someone. You ruined everything for me, Vic.” He uttered. He then turned and stormed out from the house.

For a moment, I was glued perfectly still on my position. I could feel my shoulders shake and I know for a fact that I would eventually break down but right now, I just have to fix something first.

“Vic, where are you going?” Mike called out as I grabbed my car keys and my phone on my way out. I didn’t bother to look back and reply though. I just went out and straight to my car.

KELLIN’S POV

It hurts so much. I don’t know where to go. I just ran and ran. I stumbled and bumped on a few things and people, probably. I really didn’t know. My vision was a haze and my head felt so heavy and everything is just a blur.
How could Vic say such cruel words? I finally thought that someone actually cared but, no. I was once again wrong. I shouldn’t have put myself in this situation because it fucking hurts. Do you ever get the feeling when you suddenly can’t breathe and you just want to cry but your head hurts so much and there’s just no more tears to shed? That’s how I feel right now. I hate Vic for making me feel miserable and worthless.

I finally stopped running, realizing that I am a few blocks away from our house. I leaned on a brick wall and tried to calm myself down. I rubbed my eyes a couple of times, hopefully to make my vision a little bit clearer. Once I felt that I’ve finally calmed down, I started walking. I feel so tired and I just want to collapse on my bed.

“Hello?” I reluctantly shouted in the huge house. I got no response though so I suppose that my mom wasn’t home yet.
I literally dragged myself all the way to my room. I don’t feel like doing anything. I haven’t eaten since last night and I don’t feel hungry at all. I don’t know how to feel anymore. I feel so broken and shattered.
For a couple of minutes, I was just laying on my bed, blankly staring at the white ceiling. “Why me?” I whispered to myself.
I thought I was a little bit over about the mere fact that Vic was actually planning on leaving me but, no. I felt my shoulders shake as I bit my lower lip, trying to stop the sudden sobs that was about to escape from my trembling lips.

VIC’S POV

“Vic, you could’ve just told us.” My dad said as he shook his head and buried his hands on his palms.

“I-I was scared that maybe you would disapprove and be..disgusted.” I said that last word with a hint of embarrassment. I mean come on, my dad always knew that I was into girls. He knew that I had past relationships with girls but never did he knew that I was into guys. Well actually, I was never that into guys. Not until Kellin came in to the picture, that is.

“You should’ve at least tried.” He said followed by a deep sigh.

“Well, It’s too late for that.”

“Huh? Why?” He asked, looking at me.

“He probably despise me by now.” I said with a shrug. Really though. He hates me. I can feel it. If I was on his situation, I would really hate myself too. But these were all a mistake. That was my original plan but things change. I changed and he made me change for the better.
My dad stood from his chair and gave me a pat on my shoulder.
“Uh, dad?”

“Yup?”

And out of nowhere, I blurted, “How much do you love Mrs. Quinn?”

“Like how I love you and Mike.” He said with a warm smile then left. I didn’t really know why I suddenly asked that but there. I guess that’s what I was looking for all along. I needed to hear something from my dad and that’s it. I do know now what to do and I just hope that it would fix things up. I just hope.

--

“I’m going to miss you, bro!” Mike said as he gave me his best brotherly hug.

“Of course you will” I said with a laugh.

“Are you really sure about this?” Mike asked as he pulled away and looked at me with slight worry in his eyes. But nothing could stop me now. I want to do this.

“Uh-huh. You asked me the same question a thousand times, you know that?” I replied.

“Yeah well, you can’t stop me for worrying, bro.” He said as he nudged my side.

It has been a week ever since our parents found out about Kellin and I. And this is me today, giving my little farewell to my brother. I’ve decided to go on a little vacation and go somewhere far away from here. Why? That I do not exactly know. A part of me thinks that this is a good way to sort out my mind but a part of me tells me that I’m just doing this as an excuse so that I could just turn my back away from all the problems that we’ve encountered here.
I wanted to at least leave a message to Kellin, notifying him about my sudden decision but I think I’ll leave that job to Mike. Besides, he probably would just ignore it if he saw a message from me.

We finished throwing my stuff in my car, since I’ve decided to travel on my own, with my car. I don’t exactly know where to head off but I’ll just drive this away.

“Enjoy yourself, mkay?” My dad said as he pulled me in for a hug.

“Yup. Thanks for this”

“Take care, Victor!” Mike jokingly exclaimed.

“I will, Michael!”
I jumped in to my car and without any doubts, started the engine. I waved and flashed them a sincere smile as I drove off.