No Strings Attached ; j.g

e i g h t

It was almost ten at night, we still sat in the backseat of his car, cuddling. "Do you love me back?" Jack asks.

No.

Yes.

You're going to get hurt.

"Yes."

"So will you stay?"

No.

I want to.

You'll get hurt if you stay.

"Yes."

"Why were you cry-"

"Can we go back to your place, please?" I interrupt.

"Sure," he sighs.

_

I curled up under the blankets and closed my eyes. I felt him crawl in next to me. "Alexis," he speaks quietly. "Why were you crying so much? At the beach.." I shrug. "Alexis, talk to me, please."

I was mentally fighting myself. All the bad thoughts were flooding my mind again. For the first time in years.

You thought you'd escaped me, wrong.

Can't you let me be happy?

Honey, I'm the reason you'll never get hurt, unless you don't listen to me.

"Hey, babe," he whispered as he rubbed my cheek. "What's up? I've never seen you like this."

"I'm just- I'm tired," my voice cracked, giving me away. I felt tears rush to my eyes. I couldn't tell him.

"I know you're hiding something from me. Just talk to me, please?" He stared at me with a worried face.

"Promise me-"

HE WILL LEAVE YOU IF YOU TELL HIM.

"J-Jack, p-promise me-e," I drew in sharp breaths. "Promise you won't want to leave me after I tell you."

"I-I promise, please just talk to me."

He won't leave me.

He will.

HE WONT.

I started breathing heavily. I sat up and swung my feet over the bed. My head hung low and I wiped my tears away. Jack tugged on my shoulder.

"I don't want you seeing me like this," I sniffed and stood up.

"Alexis," he rested his hand on my shoulder. "Please, I don't mind. I want to help you, just- I love you, okay?"

No he fucking doesn't.

The little voice in the back of my head was ruining EVERYTHING.

CANT YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!

NO!

"Babe," he hugged me from behind. "You don't have to talk, right now. Just get some sleep?" I nodded and laid back, resting my head on his chest.

I couldn't tell him. I could barely think about it. I didn't want to cry. I was so over it.

That's right, don't ever tell him. LEAVE.

I don't want to leave him.

It'll save you the trouble, no more tears. You won't have to explain. Just leave.

Maybe I should leave.

Yessss.

"Hey," I felt the heat of Jack's breath on my neck. "Hey, calm down, babe," he rubbed my arm.

"I-I'm sorry," I turn to face him. "Maybe I should go," he grabs my hand as the words came out of my mouth.

"No, no, that's not what I want," he pulled me closer and passionately kissed my lips. "That's the last thing I want."

I feel a smile creep across my face and I snuggle up to his chest. "I'll tell you, and if you wanna leave me, you can," I whisper. "I don't wanna make you stay with me."

"Just go to sleep," he soothed. "I don't think you can tell me anything that'll make me love you less."

Today had taken an awful turn. I hate to say it, but Jack sort of triggered the thoughts to come back. He was pushing me into something I hadn't really wanted, just like before.

He'll keep pushing you.

Get out. Get out. GET OUT.

_

it's a little short, SORRY. there's been no feedback yet, so idk if the people who read this like long chapters or short chapters, or what they want to happen, or ANYTHING. Vote & comment please!