No Strings Attached ; j.g

n i n e

I opened my eyes and saw Jack hovering over me. He was pecking my face with little kisses all over. I started giggling, and once he stopped, he spoke. "I made you coffee," he smiled. "And I thought I could take you shopping today."

"Jaaaack, don't spend money on me."

"Pleaseeee, I've always wanted to take someone shopping, and I like you a lot so I wanna take you!" He looked like a little puppy.

"Fine," I sighed and took the coffee from him. "This is good," I said after sipping it.

"Why thank you," he smiled confidently.

I wanna tell him now, it's early so we have all day to get happy.

Don't fucking do it.

"Jack," I said as I sat the coffee down. "I wanna tell you-" my voice cracked. "I wanna tell you something."

"Is it about last night?" he looked concerned.

"Yes, but first I wanna say sorry."

"Why?"

"Because I'm never like this, I know it's a burden, and I'm sorry," I sighed. "I guess I kind of lied before. I don't fool around with a lot of people, I'm not a slut. I've only had sex once, and I regret it with everything I have.

The first time I actually left home, I was fifteen. I was mature, I was smart, yeah I dropped out of school but I had brains. I was just, socially stupid. I had a seventeen year old boyfriend. My parents didn't approve, but he always told me he loved me. He'd slap me, "I love you." Make me feel bad about myself, "I love you."

I didn't lie when I said Indiana was boring, I'd always wanted to leave. But this boyfriend, he encouraged me to leave with him. To travel. We did have lots of fun, it was really exhilarating.

Then one day, he just changed. Everything was so much worse. I was sixteen by then, but I didn't know what the hell to do. He pressured me into sex, I wouldn't so much as call it rape, but he did have to talk me into it. He just beat me, and called me useless and said I wasn't- he left me. Before I left Indiana, I had no real desire to travel everywhere, I just wanted to get out. But after the fucker left me all alone and hurt, I had to travel. I had to get to places and get food and shelter. Eventually it just became fun, once I started meeting cool people and experiencing lots of things.

Now I know hearing all that doesn't make much sense, but he's the reason I'm scared to catch feelings. I just don't want to get hurt, and I'm scared to stay because I know I'll catch feelings, and there's this voice in the back of my head that just won't-" I stopped, realizing what I had just been telling him. I looked at him nervously. "That's all."

I felt better, now that he knew. Now I didn't have to keep that inside, and I'd never told anyone. I was bound to tell someone at some point.

"What were you saying, that last part?" he asked.

"Oh," I laughed it off. "That was nothing." He looked at me awkwardly and shook the thoughts away.

_

Sorry if this is a bad chapter, I was making up her backstory as I went along. I always do that, with everything I write basically.