Support Group ( Jai Courtney )

Day 27

Third day. 

It's the third day I've been coming to the hospital, incapable of entering her room. I felt bad because her foster family barely came to see her even if I doubted she cared that much about them. But the thing was that she's been alone in this hospital room for three days except for nurses coming in to check on her state etc.

So why wasn't I coming in to see her?

Because I was pissing my pants in fear that she would reject me. It was kind of my fault she had been here in the first place, if I hadn't called her a child, she probably would have stayed at the apartment. 

If it wasn't for me, she would be healthy by now. 

She was probably so mad at me to even acknowledge me anymore so what was the point in entering that room. I was fine only seeing her through that tiny window.

No you aren't. Creep.

F**k I was going mad. This girl was making me mad doing nothing. I was too infatuated with her to back out now but this would be nonsense if I was the only one trying.

Why would she try for you ? For a way older dude ? 

I should learn to shut myself up.

From afar I saw a nurse coming my way and bowed my head to the floor.

" Excuse me sir what are you waiting for ? "

I looked up at the nurse, an old woman looking tired from life in general but still holding a kind smile my way.

" Erm-um- a friend. "

" Visiting hours are ending in thirty minutes, you should head back home and call your friend to come another day. "

She was so sweet I almost felt bad for lying.

I looked at my watch.

7.43 p.m

" Yeah probably."

I began to get up but her next sentence seemed to freeze my legs in place.

" Why are you afraid to go in that room ? "

I locked my blue eyes with her brown ones, my mouth slightly agape.

" Did you put her in that bed ? "

" Kind of.."

" Oh..honey what is it ?"

At that point I felt like I could tell my story to anybody so why not the old sweet nurse ? 

" We had an argument the morning of the day she got run over and it was my stupidity talking, and uhg f**k I'm so much of an idiot, damn it !"

I buried my face in my hands while I felt a tiny chubby hand rubbing my back soothingly. It was a rather strange feeling, coming from a stranger.

" Now now it can't be all on your side. An argument doesn't grow alone."

" No you don't understand nothing was her fault, she..sh-she's perfect.."

" You are in love honey. "

She sweetly told me, her brown eyes boring into mine with nostalgia. 

And I thought about it for a few seconds. Was I really in love ? There surely was something going on with Lili, we were a couple right ? God I felt like an awkward teenage boy.

I was really in love.

" I am. "

" You should head back home now, and come back tomorrow."

She patted my back.

 *** Lili's P.O.V *** 

Three days.

It's been three days since I couldn't do anything but lay in a bed and think. And too much thinking wasn't doing me any good.

I haven't seen Jai since then and I was starting to think that he might have stayed on his ground about how much of a child I was. Did he even know where I was? Did he even care ? 

That's all what has been on my mind for the last three days. And it was exhausting trying not to cry over the first guy I fell in love with.

It was still hard for me to admit the fact of being in love, and being dependent on someone. Because I was. Proof be shown, he was the only thing I could think about. But apparently it wasn't reciprocated. Or he would've been here with me right ? He would have called, and checked for me. 

Or was I getting my hopes up ? 

Selfish selfish selfish.

He probably finally realized how f**ked up my life was and how unstable I was. 

I probably scared him away.

My thoughts were quickly interrupted by knocks on the door. 

" Can I come in ? "

I looked at the clock.

7.48 p.m

Probably the nurse.

...............................................

I'll never be wise.